Ah, the question all single women have asked themselves at one point or another. This week, Carrie questions her new relationship with Aidan because he won’t sleep with her after a week and a half. Let the overanalyzing begin! Charlotte’s new beau has a penchant for calling women bitches and whores at the worst possible time (although, is there ever a good time?), Miranda must compile a list of all the men she has slept with after learning she has chlamydia, and Samantha is forced to move, after the women in her building go all Scarlet Letter on her ass. 

 

It all begins when Carrie returns home from a date with Aidan confused: why didn’t he want to come inside?

While Mizz Bradshaw is pondering Aidan’s actions, I’m wondering about this outfit. Is that a skirt? A dress? Is it heavy? Does the slit seriously go up to the waist? The hair, jacket, and crossbody say “cute date outfit,” but the bottom half of the ensemble screams “hookah bar”…although I do like the beading.

 

Over on Lex, there’s been an assault in Samantha’s building. As you can see, she is appalled. 

It is unclear whether Sam’s face is due to the shock of the assault, the knowledge that it’s her fault (seems her late night booty call inadvertantly let in the robber), or the realization that she’s wearing an all-yellow pantsuit. My guess is the latter, but I also never wore office wear in the ’90’s. 

 

Later, the gals pretend to drink orange juice.

Carrie’s hair looks fab, and I don’t mind the secretary-style blouse, but someone needs to memo Miranda that the days of the turtleneck have come to an end. Unless you live in Alaska, in which case, we would have a completely different show.

 

Perhaps that same memo can also include a section on “when you know it is time to wear a bra” for the other ladies. 

In addition to lacking in the support department, Charlotte’s top is a little too reminiscent of an after-school special. Like, our heroine puts on this keyhole/ruffle/halter situation for the sixth grade dance, and suddenly realizes she needs a bra. Cue sappy music, a heartfelt moment with mom, and a shopping montage.

 

The next day, Carrie continues to worry about where her relationship with Aidan is headed, while Miranda reveals she has chlamydia. Just another walk in Central Park, eh ladies?

Perhaps Carrie should spend less time worrying about Aidan and more time picking out her outfits in the morning. Her oversized, powder blue coat is just all shades of wrong as are her ill-fitting button down and outdated pants. Miranda is no better and is sporting what appear to be khaki, ruffle-bottomed pants? NO! BAD PANT CHOICE, BAD!

 

That evening, Charlotte wears some lingerie an itty-bitty dress to go on a date with her flavor of the month — a very nice, very handsome investment banker. Done! Found! Marry him!

Oh, but wait. He has an issue. Shouting “you f*cking bitch, you f*cking whore” while he’s, uh, f*cking may be a deterrant. No matter, Char, you’re rocking this LBD. Definitely an improvement over the sixth grade brunch outfit.

 

On the other side of Manhattan, THIS is the face you make when you tell your boyfriend (who’s afraid of doctors) that you have an STD, and that he needs to be tested. 

 

And THIS is the face you make when you are the boyfriend getting tested. Or maybe Steve just realized he’s wearing yet another plaid, short-sleeve button down with way too much undershirt showing?

 

So, part of Miranda’s dealings with chlymydia includes compiling a list of all the men she has slept with.

Lest we judge her for sleeping with “guy from deli,” Miranda wears a striped, sleeveless turtleneck to distract us from her lengthy list. Nice move, Mir. I totally forgot about your list and am now solely focused on judging that ridiculous top. 

 

Speaking of judging, Samantha’s neighbors are totally judging her for sleeping around, which leads to a montage of Samantha and her many men getting frisky in the elevator. Thank you, SATC! We live for montages!

 

And after all that fun, we land on this outfit. Samantha has a great figure, but I don’t understand why she insists on dressing in different shades of the same color. Is her closet organized like a rainbow? Is she worried she won’t match otherwise?

Color schemes aside, Sam has had enough of the gossip and decides it’s time to move…  

 

…to the meatpacking district. Where you can wear white, blue, and black all at the same time, and no one will judge you for sleeping around.

Good morning, ladies! That’s some mighty sensible footwear on Trannie #3.

 

While Samantha’s getting comfy in her new digs, Carrie gets comfy in what I can only imagine she considers to be “fancy loungewear.”

Girl, I’m all for fancy and lounging, but let’s call this what it is: a pool cover-up. All it’s missing is a swimsuit and a wide-brimmed hat. Look! It even has a shell!

 

As Carrie questions Aidan’s motives, he stealthily performs the first of many sweet, kind, and romantic gestures. 

 

“Little person, big tub.”

 

Oh man, those necklaces. Makes me wonder if the SATC accessories department wanted to give Aidan an artsy vibe, or if John Corbett has his own penchant for aging hippie jewelry.

 

Despite Carrie’s overanazlyzing crazy, she and Aidan eventually seal the deal.

Yay, you did it. Golf claps. I guess you’re more than friends, after all. *eye roll*