So, this episode we’re juggling with gender roles and sexuality (as ever). Carrie snags herself a 20-something bi-sexual man, but has trouble getting beyond his past. Charlotte is asked to pose for a photo dressed as a man, while Sam bumps heads with her bossy new assistant. And poor Miranda struggles to embrace her feminine side when Steve starts spending more and more time in her apartment. Time to let go of your boundary issues, Mir, Steve’s a great man.

 

At the latest opening of Charlotte’s gallery, the ladies are bringing it, with the obvious exception of Carrie. That oatmeal potato sack has gots to go. Literally the worst color on her, or anyone, ever.

Moving swiftly on, Charlotte is FIERCE in that black column dress. I’m not usually a fan of cap sleeves or high necked dresses, but they’re perfect on the tiny hourglass figure of hers. Miranda is also stunning tonight, and I’m dying over that bib necklace. WANT. Sam has pulled another pencil skirt from her vast collection and pairs it with a short sleeved blazer and a clutch that I need to have. Like I said, they brought it.

 

Ah, Now I see why Carrie wore that awful dress: she was off to meet her 20-something boy toy for a lap around the rink.

Not super appropriate for ice skating either, but it matches Sean’s schubbiness perfectly. We get it, you’re young. Too young for our main lady maybe, as he reveals that one of his last serious relationships was with a guy. So scandalous for 2000!

 

At their trademark brunch the next morning, Sam utters the infamous line “I’m try-sexual, I’ll try anything once.” Genius. And she looks fab in a cerulean long-sleeved tee. Sam Jones is the master of simplicity.

Charlotte sticks to her blacks in a plain turtleneck, but she kills it with that leather headband (you know how we love a good headband around here). I only wish the frizz was gone, but I suppose we can’t have it all.

 

The color of Mir’s Shirt is amazing against that ginger mane, but the cut is awful. Stick to v-necks (see above). They love you.

And Carrie is doing her best impression of the Empire State Building, from what I can tell. This Art Deco monstrosity would be a million times better if it actually fit her. And maybe if her hair wasn’t so cray? C’mon Carrie, you can do better.

 

Like this. This is some luxe loungewear. The black tank is pretty standard (aka, something I wear everyday), and she can have the crazy hair when she’s lounging. Lauren approved.

Those purple sweats with the rhinestones were so popular back in the day, but what better to wear while contemplating gender roles and sexual ambiguity? Such a heady topic certainly warrants some irresistably comfy clothes. I def had a pair of these pants, though mine probably had something written across the butt…far less classy than these.

 

While Carrie works in her sweats, Charlotte is totes profesh in a basic white top and gorgeous a-line skirt. Can you spot the little lipstick print on the skirt? Squeeeee!

Those pumps are killer, too. I wish I could really see them, but I’d like to imagine that they’re grey snakeskin, so we’ll say that. While she’s killing it in this superfemme outfit, her artist in residence, Baird, pops by to ask Charlotte to pose for him…as a man.

 

As Charlotte types away on her old school Mac iBook and worries about dressing as a man, Carrie very awkwardly grills her boy toy, vis-a-vis the whole bisexual thing.

Clubs are dark, and therefore hard to get good snaps of, so, sorry about that. Carrie seems to be sticking to her 1980’s meets 1920’s theme with a black and gold glittery sweater, and she’s drinking a beer to fit in with the kids. Sean’s wearing a shirt straight out of a spaghetti western. Was that ever trendy? I guess it doesn’t matter when you’re so adorable.

 

So not adorable? Sam’s new brash assistant. While Ms. Jones is usually the one who wears the pants in her office, she’s decided to battle her new assistant dressed like a watermelon!

I’m not sure about the pink leather biker jacket, with matching cami, and lime green pencil skirt. Individually, maybe. I might try and trademark that vast skirt collection thing, though. Kinda like Jess’ pajama wardrobe over on New Girl.

 

Speaking of sleepwear, Miranda’s is getting some mad props from me today. Look at that color! Stunning. 

And peep the way that slip hugs her bod. Ugh, I’ll get over it, promise. And hopefully Miranda gets over her cohabitating issues with Steve. I get it girl, guys are slobs.

 

But she trys to channel her inner goddess anyway, and drags Carrie along to a belly dancing class, which the girls promptly ditch after being instructed to let said inner goddesses soar. No thanks. Miranda’s a bit blah in her workout gear and duster coat, but I didn’t expect much else, to be honest.

Carrie, on the other hand, reminds me of an Olivia Newton John video. She’s got her 80s vibe down and is sticking to it! I do love that top knot, though. It’s the first time her hair hasn’t looked like a bird’s nest all ep. 

 

On the opposite end of the spectrum, Charlotte needs a bigger sock when she butches up for her photoshoot with Baird. She still looks so feminine to me, you guys.

 

That pink shirt on the artiste is pretty feminine, too. Don’t get me wrong, I totally believe that real men wear pink, but that shirt is all stripes and ombre, and looks like it came right out of Charlotte’s closet.

Maybe they traded clothes?

 

Meanwhile, back at chez Miranda, our fave redhead is still trying to play the doting woman, making a homecooked meal. Somehow.

Her shoes are amazing, but I’m totally crushing on Steve here. That mustard cardi is adorable, and he’s always so infinitely patient with our stubborn girl. LUV. HIM.

 

Don’t love Mr. Smart-ass assistant to Ms. Jones, though. But on the plus side, she fires him and gets a little office nookie. I’ll bet that wasn’t mentioned in his benefits package when he signed on. Doesn’t get much better than that!

Except maybe Sam in that LRD (little red dress). I have to say, the woman knows what she looks good in…and I’ve said it before, she rocks minimal like no one else.

 

But our prim and proper lady, Charlotte, can werk some minimalism, too, as seen in this gorge forest green silk nightie.

Her beautiful shiny hair is back, too. Finally looking age appropriate, Charlotte. Golf claps from me.

 

While Char admires her manly makeover, Carrie rounds up her week of weird with a party at Sean’s ex-boyfriend’s place. Obvs.

Look! There’s the ex-boyfriend with the baby and his husband, and Alanis Morisette (the ex-boyfriend’s husband’s ex-wife) and her new wife. Did you get all that?

 

No matter, it’s time to warp back to 8th grade with a classic game of bisexual spin the bottle. As you do, at an adult party.

Sean actually looks pretty standard in a bright red sweater, and Carrie would look pretty classic if it wasn’t for those Wonder Woman boots. And she had to climb five flights of stairs! I do like her trademark flower neatly pinned to that one-shouldered dress, though.

 

Carrie runs back down those five flights of stairs after an awkward kiss from Alanis (what a random cameo, eh?), and decides that she can’t handle this cuh-razy, sexually ambiguous twenty-something lifestyle (hello, dated plot).

I mean, who runs away from a party after getting a smooch from Alanis Morisette? WHO? Carrie Bradshaw, c. 2000, that’s who.