It’s another episode with guest star Roger Sterling John Slattery! Carrie explores the possibility of being a politician’s wife, Charlotte throws a “left-over” singles mixer party (an idea I never found offensive unless you’re not telling them why you’re there, right Sam?), Miranda and Steve try to get closer, and Samantha wears too many fur coats and dates a shorter guy. Also, she utters the immortal line “I don’t believe in the Democratic party or the Republican party. I just believe in parties.” Speaking as a Canadian who follows American politics but has no voting rights there, I hear you.

 

Let’s plot the trajectory of Carrie’s hypothetical rise to becoming Evita Peron Nancy Reagan Jackie Kennedy. She’s dating not-Roger-Sterling and he’s clearly into her, so she fancies herself as a future politico’s wife. You can try on the role for size, but the truly important measure of how to determine if you can become a politician’s wife is to judge the clothes you wear, right? Let’s start. (Bear in mind that this episode aired in 2000, well before Michelle Obama became the coolest First Lady anywhere on planet Earth/recorded history.)

First off, Carrie says she’s going for a Jackie Kennedy look:

It’s Jackie alright, but it’s been updated for the 70s thanks to the stunning vintage Halston A-line dress, minimal jewelry and blowout. I imagine it’s what Jackie wore to Studio 54 to hang out with Bianca Jagger. It’s easily the best look on this week’s episode and, given that this was the opening shot, it went sadly downhill from there.

 

At a campaign event, she wears one of her trademark giant flowers:

Sorry Carrie, but it’s a political fundraiser and the candidate is the star. A giant flower like that makes it about you. Unless of course the first lady vibe you’re going for is Imelda Marcos, then you can wear something garish and costume-y all you like. This otherwise belongs at drag queen bingo.

 

Digging back to the 70s, Carrie tries on another vintage number, this time a pale blue pantsuit with striped scarf:

Almost everything here works. It’s tailored so it fits her well. The scarf-blouse hybrid is to kill for, and if she was doing an homage to political figures, I would say it hews closest to Jane Fonda in the 70s, at her most controversial. Unfortunately for Carrie, her hair makes it look like she’s growing out a bad dye job. Almost had it! And this shot shows why Miranda would end up with Steve, because she’s clearly wearing his 1998-era cargo trousers, trenchcoat AND chunky turtleneck all at once. Taken out of context, they’re power lesbians on their way to the Dinah Shore Ladies’ Golf Classic weekend.

 

Let’s have a closer look at the blouse:

It’s indeed patriotic, if a bit on the nose.

 

Then we’ve got the three ladies at another fundraiser, looking all kinds of wrong:

Carrie’s wearing a plum version of her infamous “naked dress” from the pilot, topped with…another giant flower. Sadly, the garnish (it looks like she bought a pile of cilantro and dipped it in paint) makes the dress barely passable. Charlotte’s LBD is more acceptable but…yawn. Let’s not discuss why her hair is halfway to Amy Winehouse. And finally, Samantha is sporting a velour tracksuit from the J. Lo/Bennifer v1.0 era. While I like the exaggerated Elvira-esque collar threatening to devour her shoulders, it’s not what one wears to a political fundraiser.

 

No, you wear something like THIS. You know, we never quite give Stanford enough credit for his creative tie-and-shirt combos. Check out this pink shirt with checkerboard print.

I’m wearing that to work tomorrow.

 

Later that night, the fundraiser a success, Roger whispers the words every lady wants to hear:

“Will you pee on me?”

 

Record scratch. Yes, we’ve found Roger’s flaw! Obviously, this requies a postmortem with The Girls, where Charlotte rocked a blood-red Mao-inspired blazer and dark top. Char, you’re so “edgy Manhattan art dealer” today.

Miranda is blending in with the tourists…or she borrowed yet another outfit from Steve. She does make for a nice color contrast to Samantha, in this stunning aqua blue coat.

It’s the Jetsons by way of Wicked. I swear Judy Jetson wore a futuristic cape just like this on an episode once. Too bad about Carrie and her fur. I mentioned before how it made her look like Raisa Gorbachev, but now the analogy is actually spot-on given the political angle of this episode.

 

While we’re on fur, I must ask Samantha: why so many furs this week? Is it really that cold in New York during what seems to be late September? Discount at the fur coat outlets just past the turnpike? Here’s the breakdown:

The leopard one with sunglasses and crimped hair recalls another early 00s sitcom character: Karen Walker. They could be twinsies! (OMG I’m picturing an episode where Karen meets Samantha in my head and it is AWESOME.) As for Charlotte, she clearly learned her fashion tips from the power lesbians in season two, and never stopped dressing as Ally Sheedy in High Art.

Here it is again:

Sorry Sam, I’m not into fur. If you can judge your date’s height and for buying stuff in the boys’ department (they fit him better and he saves on retail price and tailoring, what’s the big deal??), then we can judge you for wearing fur. I’m hoping it’s faux. And sizism doesn’t look good on anyone. I bet if we caught Samantha Jones running into Peter Dinklage these days you know she’d make him wear Tyrion Lannister’s armor in some sort of Game of Thrones style role-play.

 

And finally here is another fur, but thankfully not the leopard one over top of the red dress.

With the hair piled on her head, she is Patsy Stone Ivana Trump. What, Ivana never got to be First Lady? Too bad because I would love to have seen that.

 

And there’s what she wore when she met her new fellow:

While we never see a clear body shot, clearly she was rocking Prince’s stage costume. In related news, Purple Rain‘s 30th anniversary was last week. What what??

 

If all else fails experiment-wise, Samantha did knock it out of the park in a red-hot cocktail dress with spaghetti straps.

BTW, meet her new beaux, Short Man. That’s what you get for hitting on a man when he’s sitting down, Sam. But it turns out Short Man is sassy and funny, and Sam likes sassy and funny. She even kept him around for two weeks — a veritable long-term relationship for Miss Jones.

 

 

At the aforementioned fundraiser, Charlotte met an attractive man who turned out to be engaged. All was not lost, as he gave her the idea to throw a singles party where everyone brings someone they’re not interetsed in dating. Genius! If you’ll recall, this is The Year Char Will Get Married, and so she threw herself into the task with near-political fervor (the top campaign issue being finding a Mr. Charlotte York). Given the paramount task, I’m unsure what Charlotte is wearing here.

Is she…a figure skater? This billowy-sleeved, sheer black top over a white sparkly tube top says Michelle Kwan (speaking of political wives). No wonder she didn’t meet anyone that night at her party. Too busy looking for that extra point for her triple toe loop jump.

 

I’m not sure what Carrie’s doing at the party in her black top with bronze not-sleeves, as she’s in contented (?) coupledom with Roger, seen here at an Indian restaurant. Pink and orange is always a happy combination, although she looks a bit like a teenage girl out on a date with her dad.

No, really. Did she buy this neck situation at Claire’s?

 

In the end, Carrie decides not to keep seeing the politician and instead writes a blind riddle in her column about a politico who likes water sports. DEAL. BREAKER. Look at her right hand about to hit the “send” key in satisfaction.

Carrie’s in an adorable baby doll top, in her natural element. I still think she should revisit the pantsuit and Jackie Kennedy-in-the-70s look — that Halston was a keeper. And Carrie did what she did best, which reflects the truest deepest darkest soul of politics: gossip. In that regard, Carrie is a true patriot.