Part 2 of 2: Dazzling Divas

This is just a gorgeous shot. Amber Riley is beautiful, even if she’s dressed by lunatics.

 

I’ll give her headwear a pass, though.Mercedes whips out the hats this episode, and I’m kind of into it, as well as the superb hair styling she has going on.

 

I’m also into her wearing matching accessories for once. Those chain teardrop earrings are off the chain (forgive me), and not a hint of lamé in sight! Keep it classy.

 

Of course, there’s no way to keep it classy in your condo in Boca! What’s with the U-turn, fleecy purple grandma? What’s with the earrings resting on your shoulders? What’s with the look of condescension? What’s with the knitted lips?!

 

What is this, the Blindside?! Don’t wear football jerseys, women of the world. Not unless you’re going to wear hats that say ‘Nerd’, bare your navel and basically be a preteen from 2014. I retrospectively shake my head at you, Mercedes Jones.

 

Very much enjoying this cavalcade of colour, though, since it’s on a peasant blouse that definitely isn’t a slogan tee and is nicely accented by another knit cap and a sort of khaki cowboy jacket.

Lips zipped about those lips, please.

 

Oh, Kurt. Your studs are my solace.

 

In the tradition of fangirls and gay men everywhere, Kurt assumes Sam is gay and insists on trying to allure him. Why he does that in a Cat in the Hat/ahoy-hoy colour scheme escapes me. Some things, you just aren’t meant to know.

 

Goodness gracious, someone’s been groping Kurt’s ta-tas! Yes, I know he doesn’t have any ta-tas, but he does have a sweater which would be boring without those handprints.

 

Can some explain this to me? Bulletproof Elf? Crouching Peter, Hidden Pan?

 

Kurt always has a distinctively military air about his tailoring, and for that, I will always be thankful. This show is full of blousiness, and a little discipline goes a long way, even if the boy you want ends up with the girl you want to be (or I want to be, anyway: Quinn Fabray).

 

There’s nothing I don’t like about this Victor/Victoria tribute, from tassels to  moustache to the fact that Katy Perry did something similar and didn’t look half as good. Le Kurt Hot!

 

And again, I ask…why so serious? And why so drab?

 

Thank the Lord for that, we’re back to normal in pressed pastels and a tie, not to mention a satchel which I can only imagine must be monogrammed. Sure, it’s nothing extraordinary, but nothing is ever ordinary with Kurt, so this is somewhere between.

 

All I can see is the Tin Man. If only Kurt had a heart, and a conception of what’s appropriate to wear to school, even when you’re singing with a girl in a sailor suit.

 

There was some plot this episode, I’m sure. Can’t remember what it was, but…