Smells Like Teen Spirit (and Polyester)

This episode had maybe the least Don Draper of any episode thus far. But when boyfriend’s spending his time eating Ritz crackers in a robe, I don’t mind spending my time with the fab 1969 ladies rather than his overage midlife crisis. Frankly, this episode was all about the ladies, from Peggy’s delusional rose plotline to Joan’s new promotion to Dawn and Shirley’s gossip-fest and of course the grand return of Sally D.

 

Who wears short skirts? Shirley wears short skirts! Like, girl, that is basically a shirt, not a dress. Serena van der Woodsen wouldn’t even go this high with a hemline. AND YET.

Though if I looked like that in that hemline, I’d be flaunting it all over, too. It just seems a wee bit unhygienic for someone whose job consists almost entirely of sitting at a desk.

 

While Shirley’s fashion-forward ferocity marks her as Joan 2.0, Dawn is clearly the new Peggy in her plaids and business-in-the-front-business-in-the-back hemlines. 

Weird to think that like two seasons ago, this hemline would have been considered risque (and gotten a talking-to from Joan about appropriate attire in the workplace).

 

While her outfits channel Peggy, Dawn’s professionalism is reminscent of Joan — which is why she’s given a major promotion into Joan’s former position as Head of Personnel. Pay raise, a position suited to her qualifications AND her own super-sweet office?

Get it, gurl!

 

And just because it needs to be said, here’s Original Flavour Don, looking not so different from your average 2012 blogger/social media strategist. 

Maybe he’s just ahead of his time, right? Who needs suits or like, going outside, when you’ve got a big-ass TV and some Ritz crackers?

 

We learn that Dawn has been popping by to pass along SC&P information (all above board, even though he wants her to dig deeper), and for the occasion, puts on his 1969 suit. Pretty sure this was the moment that threw the entire viewing audience into mourning for his early 60s suits. Grandpa wants his midseam back, DD. 

Anyone else overcome with the urge to binge watch the first two seasons of this show, just to cleanse our collective palettes from this raggedy ensemble? Like, the opening credits are of Don throwing himself off a building and falling, so we all knew he was headed for a downward spiral but I never dreamed he’d hit rock bottom with his shirt buttons undone.

 

While Shirley’s bringing in the Age of Aquarius, Joan’s representing a more matronly red this week. Tragically, the wallpaper and sofa blend in with her hair, outfit and porcelain complexion, causing her to sorta camouflage here. 

Like the bangs though, honey.

 

Over on the West Coast, Pete’s new piece is equal parts season 1 Betty and season 6 Megan, combining bland blondeness with perky short hemlines: 

Seriously, how did 1969 ladies bend over/sit down/reach their arms above their head/anything?

 

And then, like a record scratch, we catch up with Peggy: Vice President of the Future Spinsters of America society. When even Stan and Ginsberg are mocking her lack of love life, she needs to reassess her priorities. 

Like, Ginsberg is making fun of her. GINSBERG. Look at your life, look at your choices.

Also note: Stan will never not be the hottest piece on this show, beard or no beard.

 

As Sally sagely informs her father later on, catching someone in a lie is always more embarrassing than living with a lie. So Shirley tactfully refrained from correcting Peggy about the provenance of the roses — no Pegs, they’re not from Ted, they’re from Shirley’s fiance FOR SHIRLEY. Maybe if Peggy stopped dressing exclusively in shades of mustard and baby poo, she could get a guy of her own.

At least she doesn’t have those twee bangs anymore? I guess?

 

But let’s get to the main event: Like a breath of patchouli-scented teenage spirit comes the season 7 return of TV’s reigning Queen of Teen, Mz Sally Draper.

The ability to project this much ennui while wearing ditsy print PJs and a flannel robe attests to the amount to which she is SO. OVER. EVERYTHING.

 

The crucial difference between Sally and Peggy (besides everything), is that Sally is capable of pulling off knee socks, a slouchy beret, and a pinafore. This is mainly due to the fact that she is an actual teenager, not just a socially maladjusted bannerman for Cat Ladies Anonymous.

Ugh, you know whatever these girls picked up during their illicit shopping trip is completely amazing

 

So then she winds up at SC&P, not knowing her father totally doesn’t work there anymore. It’s yet another awkward moment, but gives us an opportunity to more closely examine her look. She’s got kneesocks (again, age-appropriate Peggy Olson), a hemline that seems suddenly modest compared to Shirley and Blondie, and sweet folksy embellishments on her coat.

She looks totally rich, utterly badass, and yet still somehow childlike. How does she pull it all off?

 

 

 

Frankly, her scenes were the best in the episode, right? Can we just officially change the show to Mad Girls and spinoff to take place entirely at her boarding school?

I mean, the show’s in its final season. Watching Sally bitchslap her way through the 1970s sounds like appointment TV to me!