This week on GAME OF THRONES SEASON PREMIERE REVENGE(!!!): Yes, the episode we’ve all been waiting for came this week as… oh, wait, Revenge is still on? OK fine, so we seem to be in a holding pattern now where people make alliances and then break them every week, and the increasingly incestuous cast increases the size of their love octogon until everybody’s in it. So V’s boning Pascal, who finally shows Margaux some love, but that’s just because Daniel manipulated him into doing that so that she’ll dump Jack so Danny can get in on the French action. And then Char’s mad at Daniel and macking on Nolan’s protege, until she switches and is mad at Jack and teams up with Daniel. And in the middle of all of this, Emily and Aidan head to England to learn more about his father, and because that’s still not enough plot, Mason Effing Treadwell is back on the scene! Sounds like a lot, and yet… nothing really happened.

 

Emily’s Target
I trust that Emily knows what her plan is currently, but I’ve lost the thread. I think… she’s still trying to find out what Pascal had to do with the plane crash? And with Aidan’s father? To bring down the Graysons? Maybe?

Gala of the Week
So sad, the only opportunity for evening glamour was when Victoria dressed up for a date with Pascal, but the dress was on her for like five seconds before he was hitting that.

Best Dressed
The English countryside works well with Emily’s recent oatmeal-on-beige-comfy-sweaters wardrobe, so she’s out of contention. Instead, this week’s prize goes to Margaux’s business-fab ensemble, complete with gold superhero belt.

Most Soapy Moment:
I was going to give this to Mason’s SHAVING CREAM OF DEATH but then it turned out he’s Totally Not Dead. I will therefore hand it over to Nolan popping up in that darkened limo to sneak Mason off to a life in Emily-sponsored witness protection. Nobody ever stays dead on this show, do they?

 

Stop back on Wednesday to see if Lauren can make sense of this week’s machinations!