Part 1 of 2: The Daily Grind of Revenge (!!!)

So this week, Emily allows Daniel to delude himself into thinking he’s gotten the better of her, but in fact it’s all part of her elaborate plan to turn her Red Sharpie against Margaux’s inexplicably young father, Pascal. Meanwhile, Nolan and Jack pull a Hardy Boys as they raid a law firm for some evidence in the David Clarke case, courtesy of a tip from Stevie. Nolan gets yet another roommate, this time in the form of his greasy cyberpunk former cellmate, Javier. And after two and a half seasons, Victoria finally comes to the realization that Emily is plotting against her family for reasons beyond money. Slow clap for you, Queen V.


Emily starts her hard day of revenging (!!!) in this gorgeous teal sheath with exposed zipper. It’s the perfect outfit to wear when you’re confronting the husband who attempted to murder you and the mother-in-law/almost-stepmother who betrayed your father as they fling your affair with your partner-in-revenging/former fiancé in your face.

I mean, I assume, not having been in that situation myself.


All that fake crying can tucker a girl out, so Emily resorts to her old standby of neutral sweaters and skinny trousers as she preps for her opera takedown.

Say this for Emily, she knows how to find cozy knitwear. Those sweaters look unbelievably soft.


Victoria, on the other hand, has no need to resort to knitwear in the midst of her plotting. She’s been scheming in skintight bodycon dresses for so long that she no longer notices the constricting feeling in her lungs.

We’ve already established that Queen V knows how to rock the green, so this smoky leaf print is perfect for her.


And when the time comes to collude with Daniel’s private detective, she goes for a classic LBD. 

She literally has dress this in every color, doesn’t she?


Margaux brings in her dad to take Conrad down, but I will admit I didn’t fully follow the intricacies of her plan. I was distracted by two things:

1. How fab Margaux looks in this grape-y purple Nanette Lepore dress.


2. How disconcertingly young her dad is. Was Pascal a twelve-year-old father? 


Our fav Parisienne brings it again the next day in one of my all-time favorite color combinations.

Navy blue with black is so chic and elegant when done well, and Margaux carries it off inimitably with her European flair.


Shame her dress sense doesn’t rub off on Charlotte. 

I need this bedazzled shirt trend to die. Does it look good on anyone in the world? … Anyone? …. Bueller?


Meanwhile, Stevie proves herself as the most competent person on the show, other than Nolan. It takes all of three episodes to prove that Emily has a hidden agenda and get a solid lead on what that agenda might be and she does it all in this regal peacock blue wrap dress.

Mrs. Grayson the First, showing the Hamptons how it’s done.


Sadly she falls down a bit the next day in this oatmeal-and-gold ensemble. The oatmeal washes her out and makes her look tired, and the piles of gold are just tacky. 

On the plus side, she does send Nolan and Jack off on the most charming heist this show has managed since the Red Sharpie days of yore.


Presenting, the Montauk version of The Hardy Boys!! Jack’s suit is totally basic but fine, and I’m not crazy about the man-bag. But who cares because honestly, LOOK AT NOLAN.

Children. LOOK AT ALL THOSE PATTERNS! The polka-dotted tie, the striped shirt, the plaid suit—I die.


In fact, his Ocean’s 11 ensemble is so great I officially forgive him for this earlier look. 

Nolan, you may be a tech wiz, but you are not Steve Jobs and it is not 1998. Those are the only acceptable reasons to wear a turtleneck and a blazer together. However, I do appreciate that he uses his pocket square to pull it all together. The boy can always accessorize.

Side note: did anyone else totally forget Nolan was in prison? I truly could not tell you why he was arrested or how he got out — it’s like, I know I saw those episodes, but they refused to imprint on my mind. It had something to do with the Initiative and Carrion, right? I have some Emily-style blackouts about that entire plotline.


Anyway, so then Mr. Ross knocks it out of the park in his final outfit of the night. 

Yes, that it is a plaid jacket, and yes, he is wearing it with a paisley shirt, and yes, he is making it work. 

This is how we do in the Hamptons, kids.