This week on A FAREWELL TO ABS: So Emily’s still blacking out, Jack’s struggles to accept his long-lost Mom, Patrick’s getting burnt out from all of his murdering, Charlotte’s trying out a business caszh lifestyle, Daniel’s hired a PI to follow his ninja wife, and Nolan is organizing an art show. Meanwhile, Aidan kidnaps Emily to give her some Takeda-style memory exercises (i.e. waterboarding). In so doing, Emily learns that her inner Evil Twin is mad at her father for hooking up with Vicky G, and so was undoing all of her Revenge(!!!) plans out of spite. Or something? And then Patrick peaces out to be an art apprentice in Europe, in hopes he will do less murdering there. The inevitable plot twist at the end is that Stevie visited David Clarke in jail AND was still drinking then, even though she’d earlier told Jack she was sober 20 years. What other secrets is the first Mrs G hiding??


Emily’s Target
Her quest continues to be to regain control over her own mind… the only adversary she’s ever found worthy of her significant skills.

Gala of the Week
Under Nolan’s tasteful care, The Hamptons Art Walk looked like a fun, successful event with a 0% murder rate, unlike if Vicky had been the organizer.

Best Dressed/Best Undressed
The best outfit was obvz Nolan’s striped shirt/checked blazer/yellow pants look, while the best shirtlessness award of the YEAR SO FAR goes to Patrick’s gratuitous workout scene. Thank you, TV Gods.

Most Soapy Moment:
“I don’t know what to believe,” rasps Patrick soulfully. “Believe I love you,” Victoria hisses lovingly. #gold


Check back Wednesday for Anthony‘s take on this week’s fashion hits and misses.