This week on DUDE WHERE’S MY LIFE: Picking up from where we left off, Emily’s gone off the rails with blackouts, which is making the show even more confusing than usual. And it may not be her recent gut-wound or amnesia causing this latest problem: it may be her genetic predisposition to CRAZYPANTS. Victoria’s new favourite kid, Patrick, inexplicably torches the art gallery to get closer to his rapist father OR he did it just to kill him AND/OR Victoria got him to do all of the above? Not sure. And then something something Niko, something something Aiden, something something swordfight. And then Connie’s ex-wife, who Emily hired in a blackout fugue state to be her divorce attorney reveals herself to be JACK’S MOTHER!! Wait, what? I don’t think even the show knows what’s happening on the show anymore.

 

Emily’s Target
Her own memory, I guess?

Gala of the Week
Charlotte’s 19th birthday party, which passes in about 30 seconds due to Emily’s blackouts. Tells you everything you need to know about Charlotte’s importance on the show. My question, though, was that singer someone famous? Will Grayson parties be like the new Peach Pit?

Best Dressed
The plot may not make any sense, but Nolan’s bowler-hat-printed shirt made me kind of not care.

Most Soapy Moment:
Gotta hand this to Stevie Grayson and her 1980s soaptastic shade throwing, wardrobe AND Darth Vader style bombshell cliffhanger. How is she Jack’s mother? How did Jack not know who his mother is? Does this mean he’s ex-step-sibs with Daniel and Charlotte? Is the Grayson family tree more like a bramble bush?

 

While the plotline may be murky, the fashions are still faboosh. Check back Wednesday when Ann brings you all the highlights.