What Jess Wore to Subdue the Exes

So we all know that it’s hard to be friends with an ex…well all of us with the obvious exception of Jess. Out to prove that she has an ex that’s not interested in getting down, Jess invites Bentley (aka, Seth Cohen from the OC) to talk to Nick and help him finally resolve things with his ex, Caroline. Meanwhile the other guys are using Schmidt’s new pad as a place to bring random lady friends around for some sex-capades. Things quickly descend into an Abbott and Costello routine, and I think the idea of an orgy is floated over (say WHAT?!). Oh, that whole thing is a mess. Let’s get on with it.

 

So, our more ridiculous storyline this week starts with Schmidt at the old loft, inviting everyone over to check out his newly finished pad. 

The guys are all sticking to character in their respective outfits. Nick in a cargo jacket, Schmidt in a tailored shirt, and Winston in his usual casual tee and shorts. We’ll get to Miss Day in a minute…

 

Coach and Winston finally mosey on over to Schmidt’s place, and Schmidt goes on to describe all of the ways/places he’s able to have sex, now that he lives on his own. Eew.

Besides the Prince party a few days ago, I think this is the only time I’ve seen Coach not wearing sweats or a track suit. And how much do you want that cooler-coffee table? A-much too much.

 

But things get weird when Schmidt gets home to find Coach and Winston both using his apartment to entertain lady-friends.

I thought for sure we were going to gank some weaves, until Bertie declares that she’d be down for some group play time. Double eew.

 

Okay, now that’s over, and we’re back to Jessica’s farmers market get-up.

I kinda like the print on the skirt, but I can’t help but think that if we acid-washed that jacket we’d have a cross between Clarissa Darling, Lisa Turtle and DJ Tanner.

The classic early 90’s girl, complete with sky-high bangs.

 

And Caroline’s back for the most awkward encounter that I’ve ever see,n which includes Nick throwing himself into a fruit stand.

Girl can rock shades of blue and wavy hair, though. I’m currently trying to see if I can get my hair to do that (spoiler alert: I can’t). And is it just me, or did Caroline actually dump Nick? I remember him being sad about it in earlier episodes.

 

Regardless, Caroline goes a bit nutso when she discovers that Jess and Nick are together, and Jess is somehow surprised that Nick didn’t actually talk to Caroline about that.

Relationship issues aside, that faded aubergine dress is my jam. Don’t think I’d pair it with tights, but this is Jess we’re talking about, and she always looks adorbs. I’ll take that purse too, while we’re at it, thx.

 

At least we get some hipster gorgeous notSeth to try and straighten Nick out and get him to finally tell Carolie why he left.

That’s obviously the kind of guy Jess would have dated before, right? Thrift store sweater and ratty old henley, not to mention the just-rolled-out-of-bed hair. 

 

But while Nick is trying to talk Caroline out of destroying a stranger’s car, Bentley is telling Jess that he loves her and will leave his wife for her.

Wow, that was a misread, Jess. Unfortunately this means the dreaded “I was right and you were wrong” song-and-dance from Nick. Oops.

 

And once Caroline breaches the door to the loft, Nick and Jess have a pow-wow to discuss how to handle their exes, and Bentley lets Caroline hold is hipster baby. 

Word to the wise: don’t let a crazy hold your baby. I think it’s a good rule in general.

 

Nick finally reveals that Jess is actually the reason he left Caroline, but only because he fell in love with Jess the minute she walked through the door.

Aww, Nick sure does rise to the occasion, doesn’t he?

 

Well, that firmly places me on Team Nick & Jess 4-ever.

How about you guys?