What Jess Wore When She Met Prince

Jess & Co. had one helluva night in this special post-Super Bowl episode. After a near-death experience with a careening SUV (btw, excellent reflexes, ladies), Jess and Cece find themselves invited to a house party hosted by PRINCE. Nick accidentally drops the “L” bomb on Jess and instead of sweetly sickening heartwarming scene, she follows up with…finger guns? For real? Uh-oh, Jessica. Anyway, Nick’s obvious solution is to find her and play some serious take-backsies (because that’s a good idea?) so he recruits the guys to help crash Prince’s house party (I guess we’re 0-2 on the good ideas then). But, on the bright side, you know that when Prince is involved there’s bound to be some crazy costuming action. 

 

Like all besties are wont to do, Jess and Cece spend some lady time together and grab some coffee for a little girl talk. Because cappuccinos and gossip just do a soul much good, amirite?

Jess is up to her usual tricks in a flouncy royal blue number with a warm black coat. Nothing terribly exciting, but who dolls up for casual afternoons with their girlfriends?

 

Oh, yeah. Models. As per usual, Cece is effortlessly chic in this black and white ensemble. The skinny pants and leather jacket are edgy but the feminine cream blouse softens her look. Along with those black heeled booties I’m coveting so hard right now, Cece has officially put my girls’ day wear to shame. 

 

Having had their brush with death soothed by invitations to Prince’s house party (yep, that’d do it for me, too) Jess throws herself into finding the perf outfit for the night and apparently turns to Dolly Parton for inspiration. Or maybe Liberace would be more accurate? This is not the right time to fumble your sartorial winning streak, Jess! Pull yourself together girl!

Because I mean, what is that? Why does she even own that? No, no, no — why does that even exist? Unless she was planning to hightail it to Sochi for some ice dancing, this dress is just…it’s just no. 

 

Thank God Cece was there to save Jess from herself. After a brief pow wow, Cece finagles Jess into something way more Jess-like. This classic dark eggplant Stop Staring! cocktail dress is simple and sexy. After all, we’d like to impress Prince, not blind him. 

The hot pink Kate Spade pumps threw me for a split second, but it pushes her dress from ho-hum cocktail party to amazeballs mansion/dance/celeb party. 

 

And not to be outdone (but let’s face it, that’s probs not ever going to happen) Cece is smoking hot in this one-shoulder BCBGMAXAZRIA gold bodycon dress. Touch-freaking-down. 

If Bruno Mars were a girl, this is what he would’ve worn to his halftime extravaganza.

 

Looks like all of the guys took Schmidt’s cargo-pants shaming to heart because they totally amped it up and brought their A-game. Fiiiinnnaaaallllyyyy, they all look like actual grown men…which is good because they still insist on behaving like children. Cue: Team Fire & Ice. That might get you some warm water, but Winston and Coach were anything but lukewarm. They were so smooth and so slick that even Alessandra Ambrosio was into it. 

Coach looks sophisticated and cool in his dark charcoal suit, and the dark purple shirt is a fabulous accent color — keeps him looking modern and bang-on trend. And fist bumps to Winston for bringing the dapper! Way to channel some Chuck Bass. The light gray is stylish and a great alternative to a dark suit and the contrasting lapels with the patterned tie are fun touches. Winston, you’re just a bundle of surprises, aren’t you?

 

But not to let the timeless black suit go unrepresented, I give you the official uniform of Team Ham & Cheese. 

 

Oh, right. And then THIS happened:

 

Possibly charmed by her smart purple (cough, rain, cough) peacoat, Prince intervenes in this lovers quarrel to counsel Jess in the ways of love by way of dark closets, obedient butterflies, and a fashion show. So much ridiculousness, I love it. How much fun would it be to play dress-up in Prince’s closet? 

Uh, like, way fun.

 

My two favorites are the black trench coat a la Carmen San Deigo and the black velvet maxi dress he chose for her. It’s like Downton Abbey meets Hot Topic. So weird, but kind of cool.

 

Also so weird but kind of cool? This insanity. Looks like Winston’s love affair with light gray suits goes back farther than I thought.

There has been no greater tribute to Prince than this. 

And for those who were wondering, Prince did get Jess to (loudly) tell Nick that she loves him. Not sure how,  exactly, but like Jess said, Prince is magic.