You know how on Downton they always talk about The Season, with all its debutantes and balls and etc? Well, around here, AWARDS SEASON is our Season. We like to kick things off with the Golden Globes, the show where everyone’s drunk and no one’s truly paying attention to what’s happening on stage.

 

Allison Williams

Ritchie: For a moment I thought this was an old photo of Amy Adams.

Amanda: It’s not great, it’s not terrible…oh my god — she’s wearing the Allison Williams of dresses.

Ann: Nautical chic is generally my jam, and her jam is usually New York Sociality Yachting Magazine Cover Model, so this plays out pretty well.

 

Amy Poehler

Ritchie: Peekaboo! A fearless shape and silhouette on one of the few people in that room who isn’t afraid of anybody.

Amanda: Amy Poehler is an unstoppable, glamorous freight train.

L-A: The dress is great, but I’m fixated on her hair. Amy and I suffer from the same flat, mostly straightish hair, so I want to give her a high five for getting her hair so good. It has literally never looked better.

 

Elisabeth Moss

Amanda: I love this dress so much. Adoring the sparkly art deco geometric-ness of it. I’m pretty sure those shoes were from Ann Taylor 1997 and I wore them to my Bat Mitzvah, but I don’t care, because the dress is pretty damned great.

L-A: I’m down with this dress. It’s perfect for Globes because honestly, you can’t move in that room wearing pants, let alone a ball gown.

Ann: With January and Christina not in attendance she got her chance to shine. And I second Amanda’s note about the dress. It’s like a sexy Empire State Building.

 

Emma Watson

Jen: Overall I liked this. And I’ll bet it was comfortable, too (well, if you have a pert bum, like Emma’s. The rest of us mortals would be covering ourselves all night with the extra fabric).

Amanda: It’s Emma Watson, so she can do no wrong. However, I’m 80% sure this dress was inspired by a 90s Mentos commercial.

Ritchie: No, it’s like the reverse of what Demi Moore did for the 1989 Oscars!

L-A: My feelings on this drastically changed after seeing the back. I’m firmly in the “what fresh hell?” camp.

Bianca: I actually love this pants/dress outfit. It’s daring but she maintains age-appropriate elegance — something many of her peers struggle with.

Ann: At least it’s interesting. I’m so over pretty ballgowns (i.e. Sofia Vergara)

 

Sofia Vergara

Jen: Really? I guess I’m a sucker for a big-ass ballgown because this was my fave!

Ritchie: It isn’t her usual va-va-voom shape-hugging number, but it all works ESPECIALLY THOSE JEWELS.

Bethany: Uh, I was thinking she’s got half the coral reef around her neck…

L-A: My feelings on this are colored by my feelings on her at awards shows, which is not good. I feel like we’re supposed to get excited for the Charo-esque moment where Ryan Seacrest tells her how sexy she is. So I’m bored. But I’d probably love it one somoene else.

 

Jemima Kirke

Bianca: Was Jemima in the middle of filming a Girls scene? This is classic boho Jessa.

Amanda: I would have loved to see her go a little more Feathered Cape for the Bushwick Party.

Ann: No, this veers from boho straight over to nightgown territory. Or mermaid territory. Either way, I lust after her hair.

 

Jennifer Lawrence

Bella: Speaking of mermaid, I can’t help but be reminded of Ariel’s sheet and rope dress.

Bethany: JLaw hasn’t looked good in a single Dior number. The question isn’t whats the matter with her, it’s what the hell is up with Dior??

Constance: She has to be counting the days until she can say goodbye to Dior.

L-A: The earrings and lipstick were fantastic, but I think even Jennifer Lawrence would like to pretend this dress never happened.

Ritchie: I want to see her at the Oscars in a rockin’ tux. Along with Sandy Bullock. Then both of them rush the stage when Ellen shows up in her tux, and a skit is born.

 

 

 

 

Kerry Washington

Bianca: I love how she cradles her stomach as if to say, “this is not a food baby.”

Amanda: Without the peplum detailing, I think this would have been spectacular. She’s somehow wearing what looks to be a freaking column dress despite being 14 months pregnant with Fitz’s baby (Scandal!).

Ann: This is for sure how Olivia Pope would wear pregnancy. But I second Bianca’s note: the pregnant ladies on the carpet were very careful to use the “I’m pregnant not fat” hand gesture.

 

Lena Dunham

Bethany: Oh, Lena. Can you really say you don’t care about fashion when you squeeze yourself into a screaming yellow Zac Posen, accessorized with diamonds? I’d almost feel sorry for her if she didn’t claim to be above it all

Ritchie: ^ This.

L-A: I could deal with the color if it just fit her better from upper thigh to boob. How is it that Zac can make Sofia Vergara’s boobs look like a work of art, but he crushes and maims Lena Dunham’s in this?

Ann: I think 50% of her issue is that she doesn’t pose in flattering ways so the dresses wind up looking sort of odd. I appreciate the unexpected color. I still keep rooting for her to get it right, one of these days.

 

Michelle Dockery

Constance: She was made to wear this kind of understated elegance, but with that hemline, I would have liked to see more interesting shoes.

Ann: Somehow this nude colour doesn’t wash out her porcelain skin tone. Maybe because of the overlaid pattern? Hair and makeup to die for, though a necklace wouldn’t kill her here.

Bianca: This is such an improvement from last years gold, armored situation. And yeah, who knew oyster and alabaster look so beautiful together?

 

Tina Fey

Ritchie: This reminds me of Liz Lemon in her Princess Leia wedding dress, hissing “I’m a princess!”

Carla: I’m reminded of a lamp shade. Or wallpaper.

Amanda: The roses clash with the red carpet. That is the only thing I see when I look at this picture. She could be wearing an eye patch with a parrot on her shoulder and I wouldn’t notice. HOW DID NO ONE CHECK TO MAKE SURE THE PINK ROSES DIDN’T CLASH WITH THE RED CARPET????

Ann: For a second I thought those were flamingos on that dress, in which case, Team Fey would have been awarded +50 points.

 

Zooey Deschanel

Amanda: So, still her quirky princess dresses, but this time with a crop top thrown over it because she ate a burrito earlier?

L-A: Crop top and ball gown skirt feels so winter formal 1999 for me.

Ann: Again with the beige/oatmeal colours. Is this a trend I missed?

 

Zosia Mamet

Amanda: You know what would be awesome? If she and Michele Dockery would switch dresses. Zosia could pull off that dress without looking lost, like Michele does, and Michele could work the couture angle that Zosia just can’t quite nail.

Bethany: Seconded. But I love that we actually saw her hair. Someone decided to employ a hairdresser for the occasion!