Part 2 of 2: I Wish I Was a Funk Rocker

I’m happy to say that Mercedes love of spangly things ceases and desists while she’s in a funk — soft purple eyeshadow matches the bold purple of her top and verges on lovely, but that denim waistcoat is terrifyingly poochy. Do none of these kids buy clothes in the right size?

 

I’m similarly stumped by Quinn. The blue and white frills are very Greek bride-to-be, but the heavy brown cardigan is so out of place, I want to slap whoever made her wear it and send them to match fabric samples on Project Runway.

 

What Mercedes is finding so hilarious is not her outfit (unfortunately — I know if I were wearing fifty shades of magenta and football socks which didn’t match the rest of me, I would have to find it funny), but the idea of Quinn getting funky.

I was instantly outraged by this, but peaches and cream girls trying to do funk are basically as bad as Miley Cyrus shaking her two apricots next to her “home girls here with the big butt”, so I have to agree with Mercedes. No one wants another “We Can’t Stop” incident.

 

Quinn naturally gets mad face, which looks like it could sour milk. This is apt, since she’s dressed like a milkmaid in white and pale pink…not exactly “what the funk?”

 

Mercedes’ interpretation of funk leads a lot to be desired too. In essence, it’s load up on the bling and accessories and dress like a boy but shake your maracas like a girl. What?

 

On the other hand, Quinn does funk with a cohort of surprisingly athletic teen mothers-to-be, plus layers of tulle and a bolero. She looks gorgeous, but Quinn is gorgeous. Dianna Agron is gorgeous. I adore the colour purple (book and hue), but I kind of wanted something more from her than a spotlight and some writhing about…

 

BUT NOT THIS.

If you can spot Quinn, she’s the one wearing cargo pants way above her ankles and a military jacket in an attempt to toughen her up. It’s not working. Militant milkmaid? Nuh-uh.

 

Mercedes is not impressed. But I’m genuinely impressed by the exact of her orange wristband to her orange shirt. Other than that, a maelstrom of colours and a few artistically added zebras don’t do it for me — and nor does that attitude, young lady!

 

Calming down enough to dig Quinn’s funk vibes at last, Mercedes opts for red, white and blue…and guess what? She looks fresh. She looks pretty. I have nothing bad to say.

 

Quinn, the picture of poise in a salmon-coloured cardigan, doesn’t have anything bad to say either.

God, is her hair ever not to die for?

 

I vote we scrap Glee and focus on producing a spin-off about Quinn living with Mercedes’ family, being indoctrinated into that gospel choir who get pulled out to back up New Directions from time to time and becoming a Jennifer Lopez-style “Quinnie from the Block” character. Thoughts?