It’s the big day in The Hamps, and Revenginess is just seeping out of Emily’s tiny pores. And good lord, was this just as drama-filled as we all hoped it would be! Patrick’s back to get Queen V over to that wedding, while Emily’s desperate to keep Lydia out. Lyds still manages to manipulate her way in (via Conrad) to alert Vicky of our beautiful bride’s not-so-glamorous past. Cupcake still makes the wedding cake, and then spins into drunken, suicidal depression. Oh, and speaking of drunken, Daniel has an actual role in the show this week, as he learns of Cupcake’s suicide attempt and of Emily’s non-baby brewing. He manages to thwart the newest Mrs. Grayson’s carefully laid plans and shoots her instead. C’est la vie.

 

Wedding Prep

The morning of, and who better for the father of the groom to wake up to than a woman that he tried to have knocked off, eh? 

Connie, old man chest hair aside, looks great in that olive silk robe. The perfect post-romp wear to rummage through Lydia’s belongings. As least she’s wearing the her usual hell out of that gorge cream silk robe. Look at the lace detail on the sleeve. Beautiful.

 

Meanwhile, Emily’s sob story about her long deceased family tugs on whatever heart-strings Con has in that black heart of his. Watch as Em struggles to hold back her eye rolls.

At least she’s donning some of her classic, cool, stylish Revenge (!!!) wear. How many off-white flowy tops do we think Emily owns? This Proenza Schouler top definitely raises the number into the realm of Jessica Day’s pajama sets.

 

No time for hair and makeup for the future Mrs. Grayson, as it’s all rehashing the-plan-to-end-all plans in an attempt to (finally) bring down the people who ruined her life. 

Good thing she has her fabulous and ab-ulous partners in crime. Nolan’s rocking what I can only assume is a cashmere v-neck and khakis. Uncharacteristically simple for the Nolster, yes, but perfect pre-wedding wear. And that color is probaby the best he’s ever worn.

Also? How have I never noticed Aiden’s amazing backside? Clearly I’ve always been too focused on the chest and abs to realize that there’s a party in the back as well.

 

While the best laid revenge (!!!) plans are being finalized, Daniel’s at work (as you do, on your wedding day) and who struts in? Oh, just this Parisian goddess.

I don’t like your new wave hairstyle, and too much makeup for day, but that dress is to die for. Not literally though, Margs. What would we do without you and your amazing style to funk up the Hamptons? Try not to get yourself murdered or exiled just yet, ‘k?

 

 

 

Even Cupcake Sara takes things up a notch in this little red number.

“Oh, Daniel, I just threw this on to come tell you that your wedding cake is done and PS you’ve totally changed my life, and not just when you left me for dead in that DUI.”

Bitch, please. You’ve looked like such a sad sack ever since you sauntered into our lives, and now you turn it on? Girl’s fishing. 

 

And who’s that looking like Morticia Addams on the plotting balcony?

At least Patrick’s back to drag mommy dearest to the wedding of the year and keep the big plan on schedule.

 

But who’s this? Lydia in the same dress she wore last week?

OUTFIT REPEATER!!

Though I don’t quite share Anthony’s hatred for yellow, I agree that it’s not the best color on her… or many people for that matter. Good enough to run over and threaten to ruin Emily’s big day though, no?

 

Festivities Begin

I guess Emily’s threats weren’t enough as Lydia traipses over to the ceremony in a killer red satin gown, and even more life-threatening necklace.

Girl looks stunning, but I’m actually afraid that she may slit her own throat with that thing. I’m not sure you can cheat death more than three times, dear.

 

Time to walk down the aisle, and though Emilly looks beautiful, I couldn’t help but think that dress could have lost the tulle overlay and looked so much more sinister and sexy without. Also, you can tell this wedding’s ruse because she couldn’t even be bothered with an up-do. Those are the same loose curls she wears for day-to-day casual revenging. She’s brought more hair glamor to breakfast at the Grayson manse.

That said, I can never ressist a beautiful man in a tux. 

 

Make that two.

Though vacant, Daniel is the classic GQ man awaiting his beautiful bride.

 

And blood red is the color of the day for Queen V, apparently. 

Though, since the last time we saw her in this dress, she seems to have gotten some double sided tape up in there to keep the girls from making an appearance. What’s up with the outfit repeating, Revenge costumers? Spent all the budget renting that destination wedding chapel?

 

At least Conrad and Charlotte are making a concerted effort to show their support.

Even if Charlotte’s dress is totes inapprops. That gold cuff seems to be trying to strangle her arm. Do you think she can feel her fingers?

 

At least our favorite import is bringing the glamor with this navy bejeweled number.

I’m not usually one for sheer panels, but I’ll give her this one because she looks so stunning. Perfect jewels, not a hair out of place. Brava, Margaux.

 

The Best Laid Plans

Things begin to go awry when Connie invites his new (recurring?) lady love to join the family on the big honeymoon. Another citrus colored dress for Lyds, but this chartreuse number fits like a dream, and I’m dying over the sparkly bow belt.

Sidenote: what kind of effed up idea is a family honeymoon?

 

During Emily’s surprise slideshow, Drunken Daniel gets a phone call from Sara’s roommate.

Despite never showing signs of instability before, Cupcake is now apparently suicidally depressed over losing her boyfriend of two weeks. Her suicide attempt furthers Daniel’s alcoholic tailspin, and he heads out for some air.

 

Meanwhile, Victoria is cracking the first real smile I’ve seen out of her in a while as she discovers that there’s a way to get Emily out of her life.

I guess you’re useful to have around after all, Lydia.

 

Also useful? Aiden and his chloroform-laced hankie.

This leaves the gun out in the open for…

 

Daniel! Who heard all of Emily’s confession. And we all know what Daniel’s capable of with a few drinks under his belt. Emily didn’t even drop the champagne after the first shot. That’s impressive.

Daniel’s murderous turn did however put a pin in that whole revenge (!!!) thing Ems had planned.

 

Which leads us to the cliffhanger to end all cliffhangers:

“Wait, Emily’s not here yet?” Nerts! 

 

What happened to Emily? Will Daniel let Victoria take the fall? Of course, we all saw the promo for the next ep, so we know Emily has (or is faking?) amnesia, but my God was that a great mid-season finale. Happy holidays, and keep the revenging to a minimum, ‘k?