The winter finale of fall’s best Renaissance-based quasi-historical teen soap left us with so many questions. What’s Clarissa’s deal? Can Queen Cathy get any more ferosh? Will Lola ever get a plotline? And finally, how are we supposed to wait until FREAKIN JANUARY 23rd for more delicious WTF moments??
WTF #5: Muppet Shoulders Are So Nouveau Riche
An obscure fashion history fact you may not know: fur used to be made from real animals. Faux fur wasn’t invented until 1929, so this begs the question — which animal died so Greer could werk this shrug?
Seriously, what did Cookie Monster do to deserve this fate???
WTF 4: I Take Back The Whole “Do You Know Who I Am?” Thing I Said Last Week
You may recall Kenna’s “Don’t YOU KNOW WHO I AM???” moment as last week’s #2 WTF. This week, she’d rather NOT be known as the back-up slampiece, thankyouverymuch.
It seems Kenna luuurves being with King Henry, but only when that means front lawn fireworks and bathtub sexytimes. Not when it means she’s put in danger.
BONUS WTF: when the priest mistook teenage Kenna as middle-aged Diane, and proceeded to recap Diane’s entire plan to her.
Luckily, it’s just Kenna who learned about this plot, and she’s too dumb to do anything even borderline intelligent with that info. Never change, gurl.
WTF 3: That’s So Nostradamus
Need we say more?
WTF 2: Clarissa Explains Some of It
The breakout bag-head character of the fall season took center stage this week for no real reason other than, that was awesome.
Why is she so loyal to Mary? Why did she kill Aylee? I mean, I know it was so Mary would trust Nostradamus’ prediction, but what’s it to her? Why did she kill Aylee twice by a) poisoning her and then b) throwing her off the balcony?
We still can’t decide which was this will go. Is she SURPRISE BEAUTIFUL or AMAZINGLY GROTESQUE?
Sadly, this blurry screencap reveals nothing. Meh, as long as she stays on the show, either scenario is OK with us.
WTF 1: Queen Mary’s Felicity-meets-Serena Moment
Many years ago, while most of the cast of Reign was in preschool, there was a show called Felicity. At the end of season one, Felicity had to choose: go to Europe with Noel, or road trip across the US with Ben?
While Actual Feclicity chose dangerous, sexy Ben, Renaissance Felicity went with… dangerous, sexy Bash.
There was also something van der Woodsen-esque about her decision to literally run away from her problems by grabbing the nearest hottie and hitting the road. Hopefully next season doesn’t start with her on a slut spiral, doing cocaine with some random dude on the Renaissance version of a train.