What Jess Wore Camping Was Ridiculous (but she wasn’t the only one…)

Coach questions Nick’s manhood, and Nick decides that the best course of action is to take the gang to the woods for Thanksgiving. Seems sweet and rustic, right? It might have been, if they brought more than beer for sustenance, and if Jess didn’t poison herself with rotten fish, or wear those overalls… oh, God, the overalls!

 

So Jess and Nick created an adorable e-vite and sent it out to the gang for Thanksgiving. Naturally, Jess was donning another fabulous pajama set from her vast nightwear collection. 

I don’t think there is anyone else who looks more stylish while sleeping. Look at the bicycle print! The contrasting cuffs! The coordinating but not overly matchy pants!

 

Nick, however, does not rock Jess’ pajamas quite as well.

Neither Coach nor I buy that these are “football pants for breast cancer awareness.” The cutesy e-vite, the pants…I still don’t think these attacks on Nick’s manhood are good enough reasons to go all Davy Crockett and take the gang camping for Thanksgiving.

 

Nick plunges ahead, dressed in his lumberjack best to convince the others. It seems to have worked because Schmidt needs little convincing to get on board with this idea. I don’t think Winston is as convinced. 

Jess is on board, dressed a little bit country in this cute navy gingham dress with a black bow belt. Is it just me, or do her bangs need a trim? Get that hair out of those baby blues!

 

Okay, so I have to admit, when Jess first stepped out of the car, I was horrified by the overalls, but was going to give her the benefit of the doubt on this one. The girl can pull off a lot of things. Including a gingham ribbon in her trim-overdue hair.

But upon further reflection — no. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No. Fourteen Nos. Intervention time, Jess. You are not a toddler, therefore, you can not wear overalls. They flatter no one. Not even you. I say this with love. The Madewell boots can stay, though.

 

You on the other hand, Cece. You get snaps for the camel leather jacket, black jeans, plain white tee, and THAT scarf. Want/need/gots to have.

 

 

 

Schmidt though….

He’s a cross between Indiana Jones and Crocodile Dundee, right? The hat would be less offesnsive if he ditched the leather vest and the bandana. I would be okay with one of those accessories.

And Nick is giving me flashes of Peggy from Mad Men when she stabbed her former beau with her homemade spear… she stabbed him with a freaking spear!

 

Anyway, turns out Cece and Winston hate camping. It’s not surprising, really — look at Cece’s awesome luggage.

That’s literally the only reason to include this pic, other than to see Cece’s fab scarf again.

 

While the men were hunting, the girls (and Winston) were assigned the task of foraging. Which they did, if by “forage for food in the woods” you mean “go to the nearest market and buy food”. Upon discovering that Team Forage cheated, Nick gets huffy and goes off to cook the spoiled fish he dredged up from the lake.

And Jess, in a noble attempt to make her man feel better, sticks her hand in said fish and actually eats it! It took a lot of mental presence for me to not vom all over my sofa. At least you’re wearing that sweet navy peacoat, Jess. It mostly covers the dungarees.

 

Hey, guess what? Tainted fish makes you lose your mind! Jess goes all crazy-go-nuts, and the group sets off to find her.

Do you think Schmidt went on a shopping adventure pre-campout, or did he actually own this Navajo coat. It’s redonk, and not in a good way.

 

Also ludicrous? Winston’s leggings. I think someone should tell him they’re women’s. No?

In the end, Jess gets found, is taken to the nearest hopsital, and the gang has a sweet Thanksgiving around her hospital bed. A meal together, that’s all that matters! Happy Thanksgiving, y’all!