So shizz got real this week on Reign, as Mary was almost killed like six more times, Henry kinda/sorta made Kenna his Official Slampiece, and of course Bash totally killed two dudes. It really says something about the crazypants train of this show that Mary finding a severed deer head in her canopy bed doesn’t even rank in this week’s Top 5 WTF moments.

 

WTF #5: Kenna, in general

So Boho Spice continues her commitment to being the Renaissance Mary-Kate Olsen with this flowy number. But it’s not just her fashion sense that brings WTF this week, it’s her continued mysterious commitment to Pimp Daddy Henry.

Golf claps for his P.Diddy-esque slo-mo entrance in that ginormous fur coat. And slightly less enthused snaps for his John Hughes-style fireworks tribute to his teen lov-ah. You know this isn’t going to end well? Because OBVIOUSLY.

 

WTF #4: Mary Borrows from the Emily Thorne Cozy Cardigan Collection

Gurl, I know you’re being almost assassinated every three seconds, but I’d suggest channeling Secret Ninja Emily Thorne rather than Moping Homebody Emily Thorne.

Also PS: cardigans weren’t invented until the 19th century, 300 years after this show takes place.

 

WTF #3: Mary stoking her own fire*

*Not a euphemism

If only the Queen of Scotland had someone else to do these chores for her, you know, like perhaps some ladies-in-waiting, or a servant or…

 

WTF #2: The Only Maid At The Castle Is Secretly Evil…

… and wearing a pearl headpiece.

That’s an awfully fancy head piece for a common maid, no? Luckily, she’s been wearing this Oktoberfest dress and 2 Broke Girls-esque pearl number every time we see her, so we know this is the same chick who’s been Mary’s maid all along.

Maybe it’s just as well Mary stokes her own fire, since every single person in the castle is secretly trying to kill her.

 

WTF #1: So. Many. Tutus. 

Both Braidface Aylee and Lola “Remember her dead rapist boyfriend from the pilot? Neither does she” clearly paid a visit to Say Yes to the Dress to pick up these bridal-inspired numbers. While Aylee’s tulle number is ballet-ready, Lola’s feather-ruffled skirt is the grand champion for this week’s WTF.

 

Yes, these skirts are so anachronictic-yet-fabulous that they just won this week’s WTF rather than Mary’s very special wake-up call:

That said, the reveal of the dead deer head did bring some Twin Peaks realness to this show. I’m surprised Clarissa wasn’t there to fend off the pagan head-delivery service. Apparently she wasn’t sleeping under Mary’s bed this week.