Part 1 of 2: Gaga, Ooh La La!

So, here’s what you missed on Glee: hot on the heels of the Madonna episode comes a Lady Gaga-themed episode, since Vocal Adrenaline are killing it with their performance of “Bad Romance”, and New Directions should…copy them? Rachel realises Shelby is her mother and the two agree it’s too late to apologise, yeah, but only after performing a duet together. Finn uses the F word to hurt Kurt (no, not that one, that F word) but later stands up for his brother-to-be, dressed in a shower curtain. Tina is stripped of her goth credentials and/or clothing, and Robert Pattinson is apparently to blame…


Before she wore no clothes, Lady Gaga used to wear a lot of clothes. In tribute, Mercedes unsurpisingly opts for an insane amount of spangles, purple and truly massive shoulders.


Also unsurpisingly, my punk soul sister (as opposed to funk soul brother) Quinn rocks a Gaga the Good Witch look, pairing shades of pink with Christmas tree decorations, instruments of torture and elbow length gloves. Tres legant and edgy.


Apparently, there was a Marie Antoinette meets David Bowie outfit at some point? Either way, Kurt gets double points for being the only guy to prefer dressing as a dirty disco diva to a member of Kiss. Note the Just Dance-era shoulders again.


…I don’t understand this either. Beanie Baby-palooza?


Forbidden to wear black, spiders and all the clothing I hate by Principal Figgins, Tina wears the iconic bubble dress and, unfortunately, ends up looking dumpy and short.

Props for trying, though!


I don’t usually review Brittany and Santana, but Brittany really pulls it out of the bag with her glitzy lobster headgear and boxy tunic over leggings. Who knew seafood could be sexy?


Santana is simultaneously a Christmas stocking (body stocking, that is) and Christmas giftwrap. She smacks of a sexy Catwoman who’s been rolling around under the tree.


And here’s a wider shot. Who’s that vixen in the poofy black skirt, you ask?


Why, it’s Rachel Berry, whose long-lost mother should clearly be on Project Runway, since she whipped up this dress to replace the soft toy explosion overnight.

I’m sorry, but I don’t like it. It’s very sexy, but it’s not very Rachel: black and silver as colours are way too cold for her, and this mother-loving ensemble ends up wearing her.


And now, for the greatest moment in teen TV history:

Finn stands up for Kurt, who’s being persecuted for dressing like a French aristocrat, wearing nothing but a curtain and some glitter — but what a curtain. And what workmanship, for that matter. Maybe Finn and Shelby can go head-to-head on Project Runway?


I almost forgot: Tina gets her goth back on with layers of tulle and a surprisingly smart blazer. Hate the colour, love the cut, hate that she’s back in these hideous rags again.


Apparently, Tina managed to get Figgins to overturn his edict with some Asian voodoo (her words), and a little help from this thoroughly repugnant getup the Corpse Bride wouldn’t be seen dead or alive in. How many skulls can you fit on one shirt?!


More Gaga, less goth, please and thank you!