We’ve gotten tweets, emails, Facebook messages, and at least one comment (see, we totally read the comments) asking us to cover Reign. And while period costumed shows are not our strong suit, this show is quickly becoming our everything, and we can no longer ignore it. Ergo, we present you with a new weekly feature: the Reign WTF of the Week.
WTF #5: This dress
Mary wore this for the Ball of the Week and it was SO close to historically appropriate, except for one thing. Here, let’s play Photo Hunt. Can you spot the difference?
LOL, sleeves. Who needs ’em?
WTF #4: This guy
Meet Tomas, illegitamate son of the Portugese king. He boldly proposed to Mary, confident that his father would make him legitamate and thus the heir to the Portugese throne, but SPOILER: He and Mary will not get married because Tomás de Portugal a) did not exist, and b) even if he did, his three year old step-nephew did become King of Portugal, and c) we assume this show aims to be at least passably true to history. But hey, it was fun watching them lambada during the Ball of the Week.
WTF #3: This dress
While I could say something about Mary becoming a pirate queen in order to save her country, let’s just leave it with the fact that elastic is comprised partly of rubber and wasn’t invented for 250+ years from this time period so…what’s holding up her dress, exactly? Nice belt, tho.
WTF #2: Mary serving coffee to a minion lady-in-waiting
GIRL! Did Blair Waldorf ever bring a latte to one of her minions? Of course not! And she was just a high school queen bee, while you are literally THE ACTUAL QUEEN. I know the show wanted to bring some Downton Abbey realness with Mary’s being all, “It’s this new drink I just heard about! I believe it’s called ‘coffee’!” but like… come on. Ladies-in-waiting have a job, and it’s not napping until your boss comes to gently wake you with a hot beverage. And then Mary, Queen of Doormats, apologizes to Greer because Tomas likes Mary better. Like, I’m so sorry but you’re LITERALLY THE QUEEN so of course he prefers you over some never-been-kissed commoner. While Greer seriously needs to re-assess her job description, Mary’s not doing herself any favors by acting like her lady-in-waiting’s lady-in-waiting.
And our #1 WTF this week: Renaissance Abstinence Club
So in the first episode, Kenna was full-on maturbating in the corridor only to be interrupted by the King, who offers to help her out and they get all hot and steamy in the corridor. But apparently this was a clothes-on makeout sesh as they still have yet to seal the deal. So then this week, she’s like “I am a young woman with feelings! Please give me time to consider if I want to do this or not!” which is a totally courageous and confident way for her to act (snaps to the writers for making her a good role model to young girls…aside from the whole public masturbation and sneaking around with a married dude thing). But like, HE’S THE KING. THE. KING. Are we seriously supposed to believe he bullies around his wife, son, and Mary, but is a perfect Edward Cullen with regards to Kenna’s virginity?
Reign, we love you. But WTF?