What Jess (and the dudes) Wore

Mo’ money, mo’ problems – you know how the saying goes. Nick’s problems arrive on his doorstep when Johnny Gangster shows up with a paper bag full of cash, courtesy of his late father’s estate. In a hot minute, Nick’s life goes from blissful financial ignorance to…well, some semblance of adulthood. Schmidt’s got problems of his own, too, and struggles with whether or not he’s a good person. Because, you know, cheating on two girls wasn’t enough of a clue. In the end, he and Heimlich save a bike messenger, Jess sticks her nose into Nick’s box of willful ignorance, Nick entertains the idea of responsibility instead of donating his monies to a Greek yogurt sauce, and Winston bought a candelabra/genie lamp. Yeah, Winston is pretty much the Miranda of this group.


This looks like a scene out of the best Christmas morning ever. Cozy flannel, plaid jim-jams from Victoria’s Secret, fuzzy slippers, and a bag full of money? Good morning, indeed. 

How many pairs of amazing pajamas does she own, seriously?


Jess flies the flag for classic casual wear while accompanying Nick on an ill-executed shopping spree. You can’t go wrong with a crisp button-up, skinnies, and ballet flats. Kind of like if Holly Golightly had a laid back brunch at Tiffany’s with her gal pals. 

I’m also loving her hair and am straight up jealous she can get that kind of lift without a Bump-It. The loose curls and bouffant-y half-updo errs on the dressy side and pulls the whole look together.


In the midst of purchasing shoes that don’t fit and toting about a paper bag of cash (yeah, I’ll get to that in a sec), Nick takes a break from his mall binge to take a few glamour shots. So, I guess he’s just going to plaid it up forever, huh? No chance there’s something non-plaid in those shopping bags? I’ll even take gingham – I get it, sometimes we just need to take baby steps. In the meantime, though, that pose makes up for his monotonous wardrobe.  So precious. 

But seriously, that bag of dolla’ bills has got to go. If ever there was a time for a man purse, it’s now. Hey, if Joey Tribbiani can rock a man’s bag, Nick certainly isn’t above it. 


With everyone else consumed with Nick, his money, and his box of secrets Schmidt embarks on a pointless mission to find out if he’s a good person. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t last long. 

And while a bike messenger fell off his bike, it looks like Schmidt just fell into The Gap. 


Oh hello classic fall coat embellished with shiny gold buttons. I love you. I want you. This is also just the thing to try to charm a bill collector into… not collecting your bills. 

Man, even if I were in Southern California where I don’t need a jacket, I’d still be all up in it.  


To usher Nick over the threshold of adulthood, Jess donned a hieroglyphics kind of dress to the bank. Or as Nick likes to call it, a brown paper bag with fancier walls (the bank, not the dress). 

The pleats are a nice little touch, but every time I look it at it, all I can think of are Grecian urns or ancient Egyptian artifacts. Which is fine, because who deson’t like a fun print? But where are the accessories?!


Ultimately, after much resistance and a rage-fueled purse purge, Nick caved and became a card carrying member of the responsible grown-ups club… just in time for Jess to terrorize a bank associate, Schmidt to run screaming into a bar mitzvah class, and Winston to purchase a ridiculous gold candelabra. Oh show, never change.