This week on Revenge(!!!): All of the sucky stuff from last season is efficiently swept under the rug by the time the opening credits played. Charlotte’s no longer pregz; Jack’s made peace with Emily’s true identity; Nolan’s out of jail and has a house again, Ashley is dispatched back to England, and the Graysons somehow have money. As Emily said, “Let’s never speak of Carrion or The Initiative ever again.” Amen, sister. We’re back to our Revengey roots as Em doubles down on her plans to destroy the Graysons, now with a bonus deadline: Jack will reveal her identity by the end of the summer, so she’s got to act quickly.


Emily’s Target
True to form, her main Revengenda is once more to destroy the Graysons. This week, that means changing Conrad’s charts so he thinks he has Huntington’s Disease, which means he has to step down from being Governor AND framing Ashley for leaking the info to the press. 

Gala of the Week
With Victoria busy frolicking with her new/old son, Emily takes charge of the annual Grayson Fam Memorial Day Shindig. Always a good excuse for the cast to show up in their best whites. 

Best Dressed
While Emily is as empeccable as ever, Charlotte was a total fashion scene-stealer in her new Goth Lolita look. Her best outfit was the leather leggings + boots + cutout red top + tweed blazer. Plus she’s totally pulling off those bangs.

Most Soapy Moment
Um, the entire thing? Everybody’s first scene included lots of exposition to get things running, such as Victoria’s “Now that you’ve lost your baby and graduated early from high school and spent the summer in Europe, Charlotte, how are you?” But the best was Ashley’s sudden open declaration to destroy Emily and blackmail her, in public, for basically no reason other than to quickly usher her off the show. Now that the slate’s wiped clean, I’m excited to see where this new season takes us!

Over-the-Shoulder Hugs  Nolan’s Bon Mot
At least temporarily, we’re replacing our OTSH count with a this tribute to the man of the hour: Mr. Nolan Ross. This week’s best zinger was def: “Cyber revenging has brought me nothing but trouble so for now I’m done with coding, camming, programming, and hacking. I am Nolan two point no.”

Check back here on Wednesday when I’ll have time for a more in-depth study of all the fashion — including Patrick’s best accessory, his six-pack.