This week, the girls get a blast from the past, re-living their twenties in a shared house in the Hamptons. To our disappointment, they didn’t run into flashback Victoria Grayson hooking up with flashback David Clarke, but oh well. The ladies begin to feel their real thirty-something selves (*cough* Sam *cough*) when the twenty-something gals in their lives start to annoy the eff out of them. Carrie meets her number one fan at a kegger on the beach, who proceeds to follow her around like a puppy dog bringing her cosmopolitans – awesome, right? Samantha’s assistant quits and takes her Rolodex (remember those?). Charlotte has some Summer Lovin’ with a younger guy who eventually gives her crabs (I realize this is the beach but EW). Miranda continues her wild and crazy storylines and *gasp* goes grocery shopping and cooks dinner. 

 

Carrie contemplates the pros and cons of being in your twenties vs. your thirties in her farmhouse on the prairie:

Oh no wait, she’s just in her apartment. This dress is not really her style, though fresh and cute for summer. I guess it’s sorta grunge, and she was probably 20-something during that movement, so maybe it works with this week’s theme.

 

Over eggs and guilt, Charlotte suggests the girls to accompany her to The Hamps. The other ladies are less than impressed with this idea.

The pattern on Carrie’s dress is like a Rorshach test. Don’t know about you, but I’m seeing a pair of lips mouthing the word “no”.

Sam and Mir are both sporting plain tanks – what a snooze. I do love the colors on each of them, though. 

The shocker of the scene is that Charlotte is dressed like a grown woman for a change. Loving the low neckline on this red and pink halter as she’s being all “What do you mean you don’t want to go to the Hamptons?! We might meet our future Doctor husbands there!”

 

Later, Sam looks grown-up too, although I can’t tell if that’s because of the gorg suit or the lecture she’s giving her stupid assistant:

Very chic. Only Sam could wear an all-white suit and a) not get any stains on it, or b) not look like a whale.

However, I’m concerned about the back of her jacket – it looks like someone’s dog took a big bite out of it.

Perhaps she prepped for her beach weekend by swimming with sharks?

 

And damn, Sam is looking hot in this coral jumpsuit en route to the Hamptons Jitney ( a.k.a. the future site of Serena and Dan’s scandalous hook-up on GG). And Carrie? Girl, I like the top but those pants are not doing anything for you. Just because you’re going to the shore doesn’t mean you need to wear clam-diggers. Also, Miranda looks like she’s going gardening. For the little we see her this week, maybe that’s what she did. We’ll never know.

Gotta love their fab luggage, though – particularly Care-bear’s gorg Fendi purse.

Oh, and if you thought the front of Sam’s outfit was awesome – check out the back!

Criss-cross straps with a bow? I think you should take weekend trips MUCH more often because your traveling clothes are clearly adorbs.

 

Sam keeps up her perfect vacation fashion track record later with this orange, travel-print slipdress:

Super. Cute. However, I feel it’s more “sightseeing in Europe” than “drinking beer out of a plastic cup on the beach”, no? At least she put effort into her outfit, unlike Carrie here who just grabbed her towel and tied it around her. I realize you are on vacation but it won’t kill you to spend more than 30 seconds on your outfit.

 

They make the smart decision to turn in early, but I wish I could say the same for Charlotte, who’s masquerading as a 27-year-old with her younger boy toy.

Although I’m sure it’s covered in vomit and beer stains, this dress is darn cute.

 

Carrie heads back to the city long enough to attend a book party in a fun black lace mini-dress:

You definitely look much more polished in the city, girlfriend. No wonder that handsome Doctor couldn’t wait to talk to you! You look like a LADY (but still hip).

 

Back at the beach, the woman disappears and the girl comes out again. Hang-ten, surfer girl! Does she realize those are men’s swim trunks? The bikini top and cover-up aren’t bad, although it does kind of look like she’s parading the beach in her bra. Meanwhile, Sam is wearing leopard print heels and Miranda AGAIN looks very sad and boring (pretty sure I had a pair of those foam platform sandals when I was 14).

All I have to say about all of these comments is: naturally.

 

Carrie gets the beach-to-dinner look right when she visits her doctor friend for a drink on his porch. I am liking the print/colours of this dress and the fact that her nerps aren’t on display.

Honestly, I am shocked and amazed that she’s merely showing a side-view of bandeau and not her entire bra – maybe she really is growing up.

 

Ha ha, of course not. It’s time for the Hamptons Hoe-down! And you know what that means? Horrid, cowboy-esque party fashionz!

What is going on here? Sam is not only wearing no pants but she’s wearing a belly chain – a belly chain, you guys! Don’t get how Destiny’s-Child-era-Beyonce accessories = hoedown. Carrie appears to have grabbed the blanket from her cottage bed and wrapped it around herself as a skirt. The good thing is if she gets cold in that tiny top, she can just pull her skirt up and cover her entire body. Those are some serious abdominals for a woman who earlier this season revealed that she never exercises.

 

Charlotte confronts her boy toy about giving her -ahem- crabs, and he responds in a predictably immature fashion. Her expression says it all.

Man-child, please. So, Carrie made a dress out of her blankets, and Char here made hers out of the tablecloth. These girls are oh-so-resourceful with all this pre-hipster DIY. Also, I covet this star necklace.

 

Hey, Miranda’s still on this show? She looks like an extra on Gladiator in this red dress with gold trim.

What gives with your lack of storyline? I hope she actually gets to do something productive soon, because this is just sad. At least she looks classy and not a pink sparkly nightmare like someone else I can think of.

 

Remember Sam’s idiot assistant from earlier? She’s in The Hamps too! Meet 20-something Nina, who apparently decided an appropriate dress code for this shindig is “Cocaine Cowgirl“.

You really can get cowboy hats in any color and fabric, can’t you? Fascinating.

 

Guess who else is here? Mr. Big with his model-esque twenty-something girlfriend, Natasha.

May I point out that Natasha is NOT dressed like a cowgirl? As if Carrie needed to feel more embarassed. Poor thing gets so upset she has to run out to the beach and throw up. Miranda is a dear and holds her hair back since, ya know, she has nothing better to do.

 

I think it’s safe to say there are pros and cons to being both in your 20s and in your 30s. Also? It’s possible to make horrible fashion decisions at any age.