This week, our ladies consider the question: when you date someone, do you date their family? Miranda lives out this question by dating a divorcee with a young son. Carrie dates a short story writer with some “shortcomings”… and an amazing set of parents. Oh, and Sam and Char get their own combined plotline as Sam sleeps with Charlotte’s never-seen-again-did-you-forget-she-had-a-brother, Wesley, and Charlotte freaks. However, the question I’m really asking is: who told Justin Theroux long pants with Birkenstocks and a short-sleeved button down is a EVER a good look?

 

In a moment of chance/an advertisement for New York Sports Club, Miranda meets a guy in the elevator at the Gym. Oh, and he has a kid who wants to push all of the elevator buttons.

Miranda, her piece of the week, and his son all look totes adorbs in their oh-so-90s workout gear. Mir, a casual dressed by nature, is in her natural element at the gym. No surprise, after one elevator ride, Miranda has a date. You go girl!

 

However, she’s already regretting her choice by brunch the next day. Despite her worries, Miranda looks pretty with her hair clipped back and a smile on her face. Now, we just need to get her a tank that fits.

In contrast, Sam looks very put-together and nautical with her striped shirt and gold hoop earrings. Samantha Jones: always bringing the classy brunch attire. Considering how often this gang goes out for brunch, she must have a special closet filled with perfect ouftits like this.

 

Post-brunch, Carrie fluffs her hair (still not as gorge as two weeks ago) to meet her new boyfriend, Justin Theroux. She doesn’t realize, however, she’s about to meet his family, too.

This top may just be so ridiculous that it works. I’m loving the hot pink and turquoise with Carrie’s tan skin, and her make-up looks fresh and natural. Not fully understanding the hole in the middle of the shirt, but I guess anything goes in the 90s. Mr. Aniston looks somber — probably because he’s wearing the aforementioned short-sleeved button down with Birkenstocks. You can almost see the look of regret on his face.  

 

Justin’s parents clearly raised him to dress better than that.

These two look very much like the well-dressed professor parents they are. Dad’s taken it up a notch with a long-sleeved button down shirt and pleated khakis (and, I can only assume, a close-toed shoe). Meanwhile, Mom brings it with a fresh blowout and an expensive-looking black cardigan. 

 

After a day of waiting, Carrie and Justin rush back to her place only to fall, uh, “short”.

It seems the hole in Ms. Bradshaw’s top was just too much for poor Mr. Aniston.

 

Meanwhile, Miranda, her date, and his son stroll by a waterfall in Central Park.

I have included this picture because (as someone who has lived in New York City for 4 years) I would like to know where on eath this waterfall exists in Central Park. Anyone?

 

I’m digging Miranda’s very uncharacteristic outfit. Did she borrow this from Carrie? The halter crop top with the skirt above the belly button is very 2013 hipster chic. 

While I never thought I’d put “halter crop top” and “put together” in the same sentence, I have to admit, girl looks nicely put together in this tribal print halter crop top.

 

Meanwhile, Charlotte’s brother, Wesley, is both visiting and getting a divorce. To make everything better, Charlotte bakes muffins. 

While the muffins may not help Wesley’s actual problem, Charlotte is charming in her white 1950s housewife-inspired dress. Hopefully that’ll cheer up her brother in case the muffins didn’t turn out. Also, that is a lot of white. Is she shooting laundry bleach commercials in her spare time?

 

Carrie’s spare time is spent, as ever, whining about boyfriend problems. Here, she admits to Sam and Miranda that she likes Justin’s family more than Justin himself. Once again, Carrie’s California tan is glowing in contrast with the bright color of her dress…

 

 

… and Miranda makes her first GRIEVOUS FASHION ERROR of the week. You knew things were too good to last, right? She never gets more than two cute outfits per episode.

Miranda, with her slicked down, suddenly much-darker hair looks like Johnny Depp as a vampire. Fact: slicking down your hair with so much gel your hair turns into its own hat is never a good idea.

 

Speaking of bad ideas, Charlotte wakes up to find Samantha has spent the night with Wesley.

Charlotte, in her (of course) fussy pink nightgown, gives Sam a tongue-lashing. Samantha storms out (I wonder if she gave back the cute college t-shirt?) and after Charlotte declares that Samantha’s libido should be in the NYC guide books. Did we know before this shot that Samantha is rocking some seriously shapely legs? She is owning that morning-after wear.

 

Meanwhile, Miranda sleeps with her New York Sports Club guy. Unfortch, as she is using the bathroom, she ends up hitting his son in the face.

As Carrie puts it, “The thing about families is if no one is sad to see you go, you probably weren’t wanted in the first place.” Miranda keeps this thought in mind as leaves her date and his son. Great towel though… I guess?

 

Charlotte, never one to hold a grudge, makes nice with Sam in one of her standard issue 90s junior high homecoming dance dresses, with special nerp accessory.

Samantha accepts Charlotte’s apology along with a number of homemade muffins. There were seriously a lot of muffins this week, you guys.

 

Speaking of nerps, Carrie dumps Justin and heads back on the prowl in this perfect grey dress. Love how she pairs it with a tan-colored purse. Golf claps.

But seriously, how many brunches do the ladies have this week, like seventeen? There are other meals, you know.

 

So, to recap this week’s lessons: it’s difficult to date a man with a child. Charlotte bakes good muffins. Sam will have sex with anything that moves. And most importantly, NEVER WEAR BIRKENSTOCKS WITH A SHORT-SLEEVED BUTTON DOWN.