Part 1 of 2: Cool Like Ice, Ice Baby

So, here’s what you missed on Glee: Sue gets physical with Olivia Newton-John and is ridiculed for her Jazzercise antics until Sandra Dee herself gets in on the act. A ‘glist’ rating club members’ promiscuity leads Will to have them rehabilitate songs with bad reputations, because detention just doesn’t cut it these days. Will too gets banged to rights by Emma after Sue reveals his shenanigans with Shelby, and Rachel’s attempt at a four-way (music video) leaves her as a one-way with no Puck, Finn or Jesse.

 

Great to see you out of a Cheerios uniform, Kurt! Admittedly, your short-sleeved shirt makes you look a little like a well-coiffed young dentist, but nice bowtie. You tried.

 

This is more like it – I love the bold red buttons against the slate blue shirt, but I’m head over heels for this Romatic poet-esque angora sweater. It’s the kind of thing you’d wear when tucked up in a garret (rent-controlled, of course), writing your next masterpiece.

 

Another masterpiece is Rachel’s sailor suit. It’s not traditionally nautical because of the brightly coloured boat motif and warmer shade of blue than normal navy, but her pink and red sails match her pinky red skirt and the whole look is light, bright and cheerful.

 

My top tip: bright tights can bring up even the drabbest dress. Rachel B, Blair W, you.

 

This ensemble is Rachel’s best this episode. Lea Michele is glowing in carmine with a waffle pattern, and her floral skirt provides contrast and a kitsch touch. Simple and elegant.

 

A surprising member of the hot (as opposed to not) list this week is Tina. I spent 2003 trying to be Avril Lavigne, so I love a lady in a tie. Also, her blue-green waterfall effect eyeshadow actually seems skillful as opposed to applied with a trowel, so well done Tina!

 

Quinn rides again in sunny yellow – all the girls are hitting it out of the park with brights. More importantly, those are the curls of an angel and I will be recreating them forever.

 

She even looks momsy here, but in such a weird way. The cardi is a little schlubby, but it’s totally what you’d want to cry on after a hard day, in spite of the random grey edging.

An ivory babydoll mother is bang on, though. Are bare knees appropriate for a teen mother?

 

Ugh, perfection. The spearmint blue cardigan brings out the blue in the dress’ floral pattern which comes across as subtle and youthful, not ageing. Quinn Fabray: fashion unicorn. What can’t she wear?

 

Emma Pillsbury is also a fashion unicorn this week (as ever). I adore this lily applique caridgan in muted pastel shades – the 3D effect of the flowers make it almost avant garde. Pop art? Pop wool?

 

And just when you think she can’t do better, Emma slams dunks in a classic jumper with the most darling telephone pin in existence, plus a super sexy red A-line skirt.

Her waist is nipped, her legs are lengthened, and only Jayma Mays could pull off smoky doe eyes. I want to clap. I want to cry and exult.

 

If you’re worried about being too twee, a print of something you love (or love to brag about visiting) is never too much. Emma’s Eiffel Tower sweater is livened up with red accents and a bow just perched on her collar like a butterfly. Elle est une fille unique, tres tres chic!

 

You know who’s chic? Olivia Newton-John, in a car, at night, wearing sunglasses and a statement necklace, pwns all other forms of chic.

 

You’d better shape up (doo doo doo) if you want to fit into that gorgeously tailored suit.