Up for debate this week: the speed at which relationships progress. Miranda loses her long-time crush/houseguest to her decorator when they get engaged within a week and married within a month (!!!). Charlotte tries to force love at first sight with a groomsman at the aforementioned wedding, but realizes that it’s probably best to get to know someone a bit better before deciding that he’s “the one”. Samantha has a deja fuck (Carrie’s words) with a guest at the engagement party and comes to the conclusion that she either has to move or get married because she’s slept with everyone in NYC. And Carrie gets all dreamy-eyed over Big giving her the extra brush head to his electric toothbrush, but then takes it all back when he refuses to sign the card for the wedding gift. It’s the little things, amirite, ladies?

 

We open with Carrie nearly showing her nerps in a teenie-tiny cami and flat hair…though I am happy to see her in something other than black. Miranda is nice and casual in a red button-up that fits her beautifully. No worry of a nip-slip here.

Unfortunately, Miranda also has frogs. No, it’s not the latest STD, it’s a piece picked by her new decorator, Madeline. As an interior designer, I am horrified by those dancing frogs. You should fire that girl and hire me, Miranda. I don’t care if she’s friends with Charlotte. 

 

Anyway, Carrie decides to cover it up when she retires to Big’s apartment for the night. What a great neckline for her, though. Her hair seems a bit fuller, too. Let’s assume that’s post-roll-in-the-hay with the handome Mr. Big.

The pink brush-head to Big’s toothbrush is bestowed upon Ms. Bradshaw, and Carrie takes it as a HUGE step in their relationship. I have to say, sharing an electric toothbrush really, really weirds me out, but I suppose when your relationship is moving at the snail’s pace of Carrie and Big’s, baby steps make it exciting.

 

On the opposite end of the relationship spectrum, Miranda’s friend Jeremy is oblivious to her advances and instead finds wuv at first sight in her decorator, Madeline. Note that Miranda hired said decorator in hopes that he’d sleep in her bed instead of a) her nice new pull-out couch or b) someone else’s bed.

Maybe it’s those pleated trousers? Miranda’s blouse is divine in its material, color and cut, but those pants… I actually don’t mind the color, and the button detailing on the hip is fab, but I can’t help but think a flat front would be so much more flattering.

 

Discouraged but ever the trooper, Miranda throws a going away party for Jeremy at which he announces his engagement to Madeline. After just one week. One. Week. Her heart might be stomped on, but at least Mir is fabulous in her navy dress and long beaded necklace.

Flanking the Lonely Miranda are Vixen Sam in her silk button-up vest and silk crimson pencil skirt, and Innocent Charlotte in a baby-pink spaghetti strap dress. Way to stick to character, ladies.

 

Post-engagement announcement, the girls head outside for some air. Carrie is impervious to the cold, but the others cover up with their typical style.

Charlotte’s got a simple and sweet red cardi and Miranda’s rocking a basic jean jacket. I’m not sure what Sam’s wearing, but I’m pretty sure they’re missing a puppet on “The Muppet Show”. There’s no way that has ever been stylish. Sorry, Samantha.

 

I’m kind of coveting Carrie’s skirt, you guys. I really want an adult tutu, but I’d love one with some embrodery and sparkle. I’ll take that sparkly pink clutch too.

I’m not entirely sure about the denim bandeau top, but Carrie’s got the arms and shoulders to pull it off.

 

 

 

 

Unfortunately the peasant blouse and patchwork jeans cannot be pulled off by Ms. B.

Care-bear, you look like a 12 year old. If you’re going to follow someone around while they’re planning a lavish wedding at The Plaza, you’ll need to step it up a little, a la Madeline in her profesh blazer and folio bag (which I’m dying over). Despite her unusual clothing choice, Madeline still asks Carrie to write a poem to read at her wedding to Jeremy.

 

At the lunch du episode, Carrie is stunning in a blue silk top (dress? Whatever it is, I like it). Sadly, Miranda isn’t quite as dazzled when Carrie tells the girls that she couldn’t say no to Madeline’s request. Traitor!

I really wish we could have seen more of this outfit, but we’ll have to leave that to our imagination. Boo.

 

The rest of the girls are obviously on a power lunch. 

Miranda sticks to her boyish suits, while Samantha works a low cut, roal blue suit and a story about her latest conquest which made her realize that she’s bedded every man in the city. And Charlotte demands to be seen in her vermillion number — and at her friend’s wedding. Always the bridesmaid, as they say…

 

It’s wedding day (remember, we’ve gone from zero to Married in less than 20 minutes), and Miranda has been relegated to guest book duty. Poor Miranda having to watch her crush get married to her decorator. At least she’s killing it in her LBD.

Samantha is a pin-up in her sage colored evening gown. Too bad her most recent conquest is there to spoil the thrill of the hunt. 

 

At least one of the girls is on the prowl! Charlotte, that is one smoking sexy bridesmaid dress! Low-cut, halter-neck and backless?

What a pleasant surprise from Miss York! I’m giving this a perfect 10.

 

A very close second in the race for Best Wedding Attire is Carrie. The nude color and sparkle overlay are stunning. It’s nearly macaron-baring, but I’m sure that’s the only way she’d be able to walk in it. And look, she has yet another covetable clutch, this time in leopard.

The thing that brings it down for me is the way carrie stands in it. it seems like she’s pushing her stomach out in every scene. The woman is tiny, too! I spend half my life sucking in my gut, and she’s pushing it out! Ah, jealousy is a nice color on me.

 

We end on a familiar note — the girls are still on the hunt for the perfect relationship, while Samantha is just looking for a man that she hasn’t already slept with. Seems a tall order for all concerned.