Are you watching Bravo’s latest debacle guilty pleasure, Princesses: Long Island? This recent addition to the reality TV landscape follows the lives of six privileged princesses in their late 20s/early 30s, all of whom still live at home with mommy and daddy, waiting for the day when a handsome Wall Street exec will sweep them off their feet and their parent’s payroll. So far we’ve only endured been treated to two episodes, and there was the usual amount of drink throwing and back stabbing we’ve come to expect from this genre.

 

Intricacies of the premise aside, let’s talk about the clothes. Admittedly, all six princesses subscribe to the “sexier/higher/blingier/MOAR!” school of dressing, but there are slight variations, which we’ve identified here:

Amanda: The Cougar in Training

Amanda hit it on the nose when she called her mother, Babs, a cougar. “I’m notta cougah!” she cried in defense, standing amidst a sea of animal patterns, body con cuts, and so very much bling at Wearhouse, the store she owns. Despite being a (relatively) young 27, Amanda is quickly tripping down Mom’s same primrose path.

 

 

Erica: The Sexy(est) One

Erica’s personality may be harsh, but her look is soft with a sensual edge. If Amanda’s specialty is “Mature Sexy”, then Erica’s vibe is “Fresh Sexy”. Just heed the other Princesses’ tales and don’t leave your boyfriend alone with her.

 

 

Ashlee: The Bold One

Oh goodness. This one is a piece of work, and I’m not entirely sure that reality tv editing is solely to blame. Making a manicurist carry you to your car because you refuse to walk in flats? Calling your mother because there’s dirt on the blanket at your weekend rental? Thank goodness Ashlee gives us colorful statement necklaces and bold neons to look at, because girlfriend wears on my nerves.

 

 

Joey: The Classic One

Joey is poor, and like all poor people, she owns just one Chanel bag (see below). Well, maybe she has more, but so far we’ve only spotted the one. She also seems to be the most normal of the bunch, with an actual job and a more down-to-earth outlook on life. Her style is similarly low key, consisting of classic pieces and flattering cuts.

 

 

Chanel: The Accessorized One

I’m gonna say it: I like Chanel. Like Joey, she seems to possess a reasonable streak, and her desire to host a Shabbos dinner for the Princesses was endearing. Unlike her namesake, Chanel subscribes to a “more is more” accessorizing mantra. Not only does she bring the daytime glamour with sequined blazers and the superlong earrings below, she’s apparently planning to launch her own line of headbands.

 

 

Casey: The Artsy One

Casey made her debut in the second episode as the Sweet, Sensitive One. Perhaps a little too sensitive, as she’s still smarting over old high school wounds. Which I’m sure that the producers didn’t bring up at all, in an effort to raise the ratings stir the pot. She might work as a waitress at 1Oak, but both her inner and outer leanings are firmly boho-chic.

 

So, are you watching the Princesses?