Part 2 of 2: The Not, Not, Not

 

Mercedes looks like Baker Boy Barbie with all that hot pink. Why has Kurt not encouraged her to expand her hat horizons by now? And her colour pallette?

 

Mercedes is shocking all episode, to be honest. Here she’s seen in two shades of zebra print (isn’t one bad enough?) managing to make the still nicely turned out Rachel look drab by comparison. Kurt is doing his best Hugh Hefner, and Quinn is costumed for a bit-part in Star Wars.

As one of the Sand People.

I’m just ignoring Tina’s bowler hat, the “in” accessory for “edgy” teens throughout the ages.

 

I wish I could just ignore these dresses, too. I believe there are two deadly dress sins: no waistline (except in a darling drop-waisted Gatsby-esque gown) and too much going on. This blah black and white number manages to commit both sins with one piece of (boring) fabric.

And then there were red shoes, which didn’t help.

 

Tina’s signature beanie is also red, as is her tutu. I like neither, nor what looks like barbed wire around her middle.

 

What’s the problem with this perfectly normal sweater of Rachel’s, you ask? Look down…and there it is, a grey plaid skirt to match a grey and cream blouse. She reminds me of a Wildling from Game of Thrones, and they have to dress like that.

 

I don’t think this needs an explanation.

 

But that’s nothing compared to this outfit, possibly the worst of the episode, because of a fatal colour mismatch between sweater and skirt. It’s a tiny difference, but it irritates me, as does that skirt. What you’ve got going on down there doesn’t deserve a bow of its own, Rachel.

 

And neither do your boobs.

 

This pinafore looks like a Constance Billiard uniform — now, there were some girls who knew how to wear plaid. Kati and Iz wouldn’t be seen dead with a clashing cardi or sloppy neckline.

 

Nor would they approve of this situation. Rachel, step away from the plaid.

 

I’m in two minds about this outfit, because the purple cardigan is great and makes Lea Michele’s skin glow. Unfortunately, that blouse needs something, maybe some pinstripes, maybe a print. Without it, it’s babyish and brings down the knitwear.

 

Guess who’s back, not with a brand new track(suit)? It’s Sue, and she’s radioactive!

 

As tracksuits go, French navy and light yellow do work, but the trousers of this suit might as well be Hammer pants. Is it possible to have tracksuits tailored?

 

Apparently not.

 

You know who’s also back this episode? Terri! No, she hasn’t stopped wearing yellow and an excess of denim. This jacket even has an extra denim ruffle down the front! Yes, you heard me right! A denim ruffle, AKA the height of fashion in trailer parks!

 

Hot or not, my gleecaps are definitely a prettier place without most of the boys, don’t you agree? Is there anyone you miss? Leave an answer in the comments if you do.