So, it’s no secret that Revenge(!!!) season 2 has had its ups and downs. For every Masquerade Ball, there was a Jack’s Bar plotline. For every well-deserved Red Sharpie’ing, there was yet another convoluted Initiative scheme. This finale did its best to tie up the plots we wanted gone, while introducing some new mysteries for next season AND a whole heap of WTF-ery. Such as: Aiden’s arrested as a terrorist, until Nolan’s arrested as a terrorist, based on evidence from Padma who is suddenly not dead (I think?); Charlotte’s new BFF Regina is a benign Crazypants Tyler-level lesbian stalker, but actually it’s no big deal; Conrad’s secretly been a high-up member of The Initiative this whole time; Emily’s been in love with Aiden except for how she’s always been in love with Jack. Basically, if you like this show, you’ll like this finale. If you find the show confusing, you will find this confusing. But if you luuurve fashion… this is the show for you.
Your Weekly Nolan Ashley
Nolan had some okay pieces, but let’s be real. This week’s style star, finally emerging from behind large pieces of furniture, is Mz Ashley Davenport. This week she works a white Megan Draper 60s mod shift like nobody’s business. Respect.
Girls got legs for days, and should never wear a hemline any longer than this. I love the addition of the blazer as well — she’s cute and trendy yet also totes profesh.
She is also the Master of Eyeliner. Behold:
Perfect natural look with a pop of liquid liner makes her ensemble look fresh and young with a hint of vintage — but not at all costumey.
And she gets the windmill snaps and, possibly, her first ever Outfit Of The Week with this number:
Leather AND sheer AND pyramid stud earrings at a political launch? I’m pretty sure no political staffers in the world dress like this, but who cares? The collar! The studded belt! The killer red lippie!
My only issue is that we never get to see the H-to-T. Because, true to form, they hid Ashley’s lower half behind a piece of furniture.
It looks like it’s maybe a purple and blue kind of stripey A-line skirt? Not sure. And I’m super bummed we never got to see what shoes she’s got on, because you know they’re epic.
Over The Shoulder Hugs: 2
Perhaps I was distracted by all the dramz but I totally missed not one but TWO Over The Shoulder Hugs (OTSH) on my first viewing of this episode. Both really demonstrate that Emily’s heart is not at all in her sham engagement with Daniel.
First, she rushes to see if Jack’s alive and gets detained hugging her fiancee. This is a hug that says “Yeah, it’s great to see you and whatever but like… have you seen Jack?”
And then later, again with Daniel, she barely even uses her arms to hug him as she’s so distracted with the guy who may be Initiative-hired assassin:
At this point, it’s no surprise that Aiden saw the writing on the wall. She’s got way more feelings for Jack than any of her other possible boyfriends on this show.
WTF-ery of the Week
I couldn’t decide. Was it Emily identifying Aiden as Takeda’s assassin simply by observing his wrist wound?
Was it Daniel maybe or maybe not killing Aiden, who is a professional ninja assassin, and only slightly staining the wrist of his shirt?
If only Emily was around to provide her professional wrist-wound jedi mind tricks.
But no, I think I give the WTF-ery of the week to Conrad Secretly Being Involved With The Initiative All Along. Even Queen V is like, “THE HELL?? I killed Initiative Helen for NO REASON and you didn’t think to TELL ME WHILE HELPING ME HIDE THE BODY?”
So I’m assuming for Season Three, Conrad is the new Initiative? As in, he’s the new big bad and I think that’s going to work out a whole lot better than having the enemy be a shady and vague bioterrorist organization? Play on, playa.
The Revenging Roomies
Not a lot, fashion-wise, from Emily. Without a gala to attend, she spent the episode dressed in her version of yoga pants and a hoodie, i.e. gorgeous buttery leather jackets, skinny jeans, and equestrian boots.
Seriously. When this is Emily’s hottest look of a two-hour episode, you know something’s up.
Are those boots? Flats? **dies of shock and disappointment**
Although, I have to give props to not only to her unending supply of divine leather jackets, but also to how she acted so protective with Nolan at Takeda’s apartment. Seriously, in every moment of this scene, she’s holding her arm out protectively.
Nolan’s also keeping it real in that Burberry scarf, though the windbreaker is a little underwhelming, considering what we know he’s capable of.
Like, I know he was taken by surprise with his arrest for terrorism but somehow he must have expected it. How else to explain this prisoner-stripe-esque suit?
I have no idea what’s going on with his plotline right now, but this suit is making up for it. Mostly.
Declan’s Farewell Tour
Much like he was the world’s worst at everything he ever tried (drug smuggling, cat burglering, boyfriending), Declan also has the most anticlimactic death ever. For starters: what was he even DOING IN THE BUILDING WHEN THE BOMB WENT OFF? And also: if he was so close to death (his… aorta was burst? Something like that?) then why was he a) conscious and b) able to bid farewell to everyone over the course of what seemed like an entire afternoon?
And he didn’t even properly big farewell to his brother or his babymama, he lied like he wasn’t dying and then got Nolan to record his final words on his NolPhone. Any sadness I might have had about his death was balanced out by the time he took to die so… let’s just call this even.
Faces of the Week
3) Queen V’s face when her long-lost son Patrick arrives at her door:
2) Emily’s face when she admits her true identity to Jack:
1) Jack’s face when he realizes who Emily really is:
Y’all, that was a game-changer. I didn’t think this show would have the balls to reveal the truth to Jack this early, but we’re now set up for one hell of a season three. Conrad’s now 110% evil (so evil it even freaks out Victoria!), Charlotte’s totes pregs, Nolan’s incarcerated, and JACK KNOWS THE TRUTH ABOUT EMILY. Just when I think I’m out, they suck me back in. Revenge(!!!)… I can’t quit you.