Everything Sucks

This week at Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce, everything basically sucks. Don isn’t OK with Megan having a romantic plot on her soap opera, Joan tries to act like a 25 year old, people are fired, their bosses complain, and everyone else drowns their sorrows in a bar. Silvia ends the episode wishing peace upon Don, but she (and we) all know that he’ll never achieve it. What I’ve always found interesting about all the characters in Mad Men is that none of them are content. So what exactly do our characters want to have and to hold? A new account…or something more grand?

 

Megan and Don go on a double date. If Don and Betty were “Ken and Barbie” then what does that make Don and Megan? She’s too glam to be Midge or Skipper. Megan’s fashion choices are getting bolder and more exotic as the show slowly leaves the 60s, as seen here with this pink dress infused with a metallic print. I’m also loving Megan’s eyeliner — very Cleopatra, and not the LiLo version. 

 

How’s the wine? And your lamb? So, now that we’re friends, wanna swing with us?

Sixties activiests used to say “don’t trust anyone over 30” but here I’m inclined to say “don’t underestimate anyone over 45.” Mrs. Swinger’s dress looks like it’s covered in those glow-in-the-dark stickers you used to put on your wall as a kid. As for Mr. Swinger, that’s a pretty standard suit/tie for said agenda. Maybe I was expecting more color? But then again, it could be part of his straight-laced facade.

 

Meanwhile, at a dinner free of wifeswapping offers, Dawn grabs girl time with her bestie and talks about how everyone at SCDP is basically an American Psycho. Look at all the colors here of Dawn and her friend — so much more than the array of greys and blacks suits we’re used to seeing all day at the office.

 

I spoke too soon! Now THAT is orange! Hate or love the color, the scarf adds a nice pop of contrast and keeps Scarlett from looking like the sorbet that Don forced Megan to eat at HoJo’s last year.

 

 

 

And check out her white go-go boots! They remind me of what Sally Draper tried to wear last season, until Don shot her down. Can you imagine if Don had final say over his employees’ wardrobe choices, too?

Although, something tells me that Don would approve of everything Joan wears to the office, including this super flattering floral number. (And seriously, will Superman and Wonder Woman ever hook up, or is a Don/Joan dalliance stomping on sacred ground?)

 

Speaking of sacrillige (of the sartorial variety) — “Hello, my name is Harry and I dress/act like an employee of the I.R.S.” So many yawns, Mr. Crane.

 

But I’m wide awake for Mrs. Draper! Is she moonlighting to make some extra money for her escape from Don? No, silly, she’s just camera-ready for her soap opera.

Fact: 40 years from now this outfit will be most popular selection in the “Adult” section of your local Halloween store.

 

This episode bounces all over the Big Apple, and we soon end up at a hotel room, albeit not for the usual Mad Men hotel room scenario — SDCP is sneakily presenting a big pitch for the Heinz ketchup account, only to find out that Peggy and her new team are also in the game.

On one side we have Don, Pete and Stan. On the other are Peggy, Ted and some guy we don’t care about. So who won?

 

Neither! And both teams retreat to drown their sorrows at a nearby bar. But chin up, Peggy, I’m really digging your bold blue and red outfit. I’m a sucker for the symmetry that only a double-breasted jacket can deliver.

 

Meanwhile, instead of 2 Broke Girls, we have more of a 2 Let’s-Act-Like-We’re-25-Again Girls deal as Joan and her old friend get cray with the flavored sugar water.

Still in her day dress, Joan looks like a walking advertisement for the New York Aquarium, and I mean that as a compliment. This swirl of blues and greens is lovely on her, while that warm pink flatters her fair-haired friend perfectly. Stay classy, girls.

 

Or not. Later that night, Joan finds herself at the Electric Circus as the third wheel while her friend macks on a waiter. Did I really just type that sentence? Has Joan ever looked so out of place and stodgy? You guys, I think the universe is about to cave in on itself.

 

There were go, Joanie, remind the world that Marilyn Monroe (dead though she may have been for five years now) is actually a Joan. But what do we think of Joan’s new snogging pal? His black and cream situation makes me cringe. Go for one or the other, bro. Only certain people can pull off varsity-level contrast like this, and it’s not a psychedelic beatnik like you.

 

Back in a decidedly less colorful environment, we have infidelity in an elevator. Yeah that’s right, Don. We didn’t forgeting about your cheatin’ ways! Although with this black-and-white chic North pole look on Sylvia, who could blame him? (Well, maybe Megan…and every other woman except Sylvia…) 

 

After lots of arguments and disappointments, we’re going to close on Stan, who’s quickly becoming my new favorite character. While the rest of the cast walks around with a furrowed brow, basically one drink and an empty elevator shaft away from ending it all, there goes Stan and his devil-may-care attitude.


And his beard! It’s like the ultimate accessory. If Stan’s beard could talk, what would it say?

Yeah, I don’t know either, although I have a pretty good idea of what it might say to Peggy.