Really and truly, we could have skipped this episode and reviewed the highlights (Rachel auditions for Funny Girl, Finn is in fake college, Marley is now a songwriter) entirely in flashback during a future episode. Or mentioned it in passing. Whatever. This episode was filler, and the only thing that saved it from my DVR’s delete button was Rachel-as-Barbara in one of our favorite things ever — DRESS-UP MONTAGE!

 

Rachel’s Melodramatic Song of the Week

It’s a tie between 1) a mother-daughter duet of “Next to Me” complete with coordinating purple shirts and grey toppers

 

…and 2) Rachel in the audition of her life. I know! She’s finally chasing the dream of Fanny Brice in Funny Girl. Proud of you, Rach.

I can’t make up my mind about this Maje dress with wrap skirt, though. Is it adorably perfect? Is it too twee? What Would Barbara Wear?

 

You know the answer to that — she’d wear a hat and a French twist, as Rachel did in this dress-up montage at the top of the show.

You guys, we here at YKYLF can not stress how much we love a good montage. And one that involves leopard print and eyeliner of perfection? Please. I am dying over here.

 

Said montage led to a glimpse of Little Rachel, and we now have an origin story for her wardrobe from seasons 1-3.

Knee stockings — check. Peter Pan collar — check. A dire need to be evaluated and accepted? If I’m reading the expression on Lil’ Rachel’s face correctly — check.

 

But this is Season 4, and Rachel will no longer be trifled with, nor will she dress like a toddler. I’m digging this top — it’s got a bit of an 80s vibe with the rando print.

 

I’m also drawn to this simple blazer and the textured dress it was hiding. Again, we have a bit of an 80s influence in the print.

 

The shape was pretty cute, too, as blurrily seen here in her Dance of Joy with Kurt.

 

Oh! Right! Kurt was in this episode, and he wore layers. Observe the graphic top, casually tied scarf, and thin wrap. He’s all “I’m too trendy to wear warm clothes, even though I’m actually freezing in this godforsaken loft.”

Alas, Kurt had little to do in this episode besides appear in a song-hallucination during Rachel’s audition, and then provide a plate of cookies while Rachel waited for the producers to come knocking on her door (or ringing on her iPhone, as the case may be).

 

Speaking of the producers, all three of these folks look familiar to me, but IMDb is of no help. What say you, YKYLF readers?

 

How Sue Sees It

She doesn’t, what with that whole bringing-a-gun-to-school incident last week. So instead, we have Substitute Sue (aka Roz) who does an admirable job of keeping up the tracksuit tradition while sporting school colors. I mean, it’s a bit expected, but how creative can one get with Adidas?

Anyway, peep that mani, perfectly offsetting her medal ribbon. Plus the pop of color, courtesy of her diving watch? I applaud your choice of accessories, Coach Roz.

 

Least Accurate Depiction of College

So, Finn’s tried getting married, going to the Army, teaching high schoolers, and failing all that, has embarked on a new persona — Big Man on Campus!

I know we tend to hate shawl-collar sweaters, but this one doesn’t bother me. It’s a refreshing alternative to the usual hoodie seen on most college guys.

 

But back to the campus scene. What? I mean…what? There’s no way that The University of Lima (anyone else catch the emphasis on the “The”? Hat tip to The Ohio State) has such an organized and good-looking student body.

Yeah, I’m guessing U of L is a suitcase college where things are earily quiet after 3pm and on weekends. And the likelihood of this many tan and fit bodies in the middle of an Ohio spring = slim/none.

 

But ya know, this is Hollywood, and in Hollywood, scenes like this play out at all colleges, and guys like Finn easily convince babes to shed their bikini tops and take a whirl on the slip-n-slide…

 

…and semi-suit up to rock out at frat parties.

 

BTW, I’m calling it now — Finn and Puck will pledge whatever-Kappa-whatever (Frat Bro #2’s shirt is partially obscured, thus I can’t make out the letters) and put their Glee Skillz to good use to save the fraternity from whatever ill is about to befall it.

I think I saw that on an episode of GREEK, anyway.

 

Oh! Right! Puck was in this episode too, as a sort-of-student at U of L (he’s auditing a few classes, and no, I don’t believe he knows what that means).

Although as he defines it, auditing means playing on the aforementioned slip-n-slide, rocking out at aforementioned frat parties dressed like a rockabilly guitar hero…

 

…and delivering some realness to Finn. Yes.

It’s morning (afternoon?) in the dorm, and the boys are in their rumpled best. Puck thrusts a pink paper at Finn, who dismisses it as merely a warning from a prof for missing a test. Again, what? Was my school just particularly harsh with its sink-or-swim attitude, or are some insitutions this coddling? You guys, I can’t tell what’s real anymore.

 

Best Outfit of the Week

Like Rachel’s audition outfit, Marley’s military-inspired ensemble gave me conflicting feelings. Was it overly matchy? Was she channeling her inner majorette just a tad too much?

But the more I look at it, the more j’adore.

Bonus peep at Marley’s cowboy boots (eh…do not like) and Unique’s heels. Grrrrrrl…

Did you see Marley’s folder in the top pic, in a perfectly matching shade of yellow? The contents of said folder bring me to this week’s…

 

Least Compelling Plotline

Blah, blah Schue wants to sing old songs, the kids don’t, Schue gets mad, he overhears their conversation, and relents in the end. I can’t believe they spent half the episode on this minutia.

So instead, let’s talk about Blaine’s knitwear! First, he rallies the troops in a dandy contrasting cardi, followed by a coordinating outfit of the classic plaid-shirt-and-sweater-vest variety. Coach Roz, this is how you nail school colors.

 

Somewhere in there (again, Least Compelling Plotline) he and Unique decided that On Wednesdays We Wear Stripes. While horizontal stripes are not Unique’s friend, I give golf claps for the expert mixing of purples. And I’m standing on my chair and straight-up cheering for Blaine’s subdued yet snazzy stripes and yellow pants. It takes a strong man to pull of yellow pants.

 

Marley’s on the knitwear train, too, first in this sweet aqua sweater paired with a pleated skirt and a song in heart. Yeah, lemme bring you up to speed — songwriting is her Thing, and that means we’re going to be forced to listen to treated to original songs full of teenaged pathos, because New Directions will be singing one of these gems for regionals.

 

I suppose such wisdom comes easy to someone wearing an owl sweater.

Whooo wants to hear another song? Not me!

 

Tina’s Latest Costume School Outfit

Remember when Tina was into Pilgrim Goth? And then 60s Mod? Well, her latest sartorial obsession is STEAMPUNK, Y’ALL!

I’m actually super excited for this, and hope it’s not a one-episode passing fad attributed to her school-shooting PTSD. Just look at the textures! The accessories! The opportunities for snark!

 

I mean…she’s wearing GOGGLES, for crying out loud!

This group shot is pretty normal, right? You’re all “Oh, there’s Brittany in her Cherrios uniform, Artie in a vest, Unique looking ladylike, and — OMG WHAT GOGGLES?”

 

Don’t front. If you saw Tina in real life, you’d secretly want to be her.

BTW, Unique, I’m considering that exact pattern for my new stair runner. No lie. Oh, and Mardi Gras beads do not make for good accessories. See your pal Tina, there to your left, for accessorizing tips.

 

Most Scary Body-Snatching Moment

Here is Will.

 

Here is Finn.

 

Here are Will and Finn hugging it out.

 

NOW TELL ME — when you glance at the face over Jake’s shoulder, does it not look like some sort of Will/Finn morph?

The more I look at it, the more unsettling it becomes. Much like this show in general.