Part 3 of 3: Glee! The Generic Opera

“Rachel photobombs everyone’s else’s picture anyway.”

See what I mean?

 

Kurt is wearing an art pop/cowboy shirt (who ever thought they’d hear that sentence?) and an expression of disdain at the idea of being in the yearbook.

His hetero heroine Mercedes is kind of rocking it, actually. Her face says war but her cool purple t-shirt says peace — in hair. And let’s be honest, everyone else is just cookie cutter versions of themselves. Artie’s in an ugly sweater, Puck’s in plaid, Finn’s wearing a plain white tee and Tina’s blacker than my soul.

 

McKinley High School uniform, male: sweatshirt/gilet over polo/button-down/t-shirt. Can be worn in drab hue of your choice.

Hi, Quinn! I wish we saw more of your plum perfection.

 

Speaking of perfection, matching a blueberry-coloured headband to your cardi is a beautiful thing, as is Kurt’s Sergeant Pepper coat and rockabilly boots. Mercedes’ yellow and purple jacket pops the colours in her shirt and the eyeballs right out of my sockets. Kudos.

Artie’s bright braces are very on trend at the moment, as are Tina’s cobweb leggings. But…is that a hole in her cardigan sleeve? Not fashionable. Never fashionable.

 

This is not a mattress commercial. This is a very tame orgy and it is creepy as heck.

 

Will gives the kids a stern talking to, blah blah blah, slept on a free mattress, blah blah blah, amateur choir status revoked. This is the plot of one or all of The Cheetah Girls movies.

Everyone looks suitably underwhelmed, as they should be. Rachel’s shirtdress is a pretty berry shade (see what I did there?!) and Quinn’s finally wearing a print, thank the Lord! There’s lots of greys from the guys and Tina and a ‘MERCEDES’ necklace from Mercedes. Because we totally forgot what your name was, Marissa.

 

In the end, they’re all in this together. And Rachel is wearing hideous knee socks.

 

Emma’s yearbook photo is much better. Two bows on her blouse is a touch too much, but the sunny yellow is lovely and the floral skirt she wore in “Ballad” is a worthy repeat.

 

Nothing says power like a polo shirt in school colous.

 

Or the tracksuit that made you a legend. “Sloppy freakshow babies!”

 

Glad to see you went for the red tie, William. My advice? If your wife’s baby bump turns out to be a cushion, just grin and bear it.

Or twitch your mouth like an underpaid clown. Whatever.