Part 1 of 3: Yearbook Blues

So, here’s what you missed on Glee: Will personally buys a section of the yearbook so the glee club (*cough* Finchel *cough*) can have a picture, even though it gets defaced and Rachel photobombs everyone’s else’s picture anyway. Terri’s fake bump is revealed to be fake — big shocker — and Ken and Emma are getting married on the same day as sectionals, which the glee club are now ineligible for because Will slept on a mattress, then eligible for again so long as he doesn’t go with them. The club takes a picture, which gets defaced. And the point of the episode was…?


Quinn = queen of win. Our pregnant princess is the anti-Tina in Lolita-esque lace, but her milkmaid looks make it sweet, not scary. A print might be nice, though.


Print or no print, however, she needs to do YouTube tutorials on hair braiding, and steer clear of block colour cardigans and shapeless blouses. You’re not a mother yet, Quinnie, especially a middle-aged one with no time to shop.


Speaking of middle-aged, Rachel’s boring contrast combo is a size too small and a shade too boring. I will only say this once: Mercedes’ neon obsession isn’t always a bad thing.


If you’re wondering, readers, the Sunday Times’ style supplement suggests pairing a bright neon print with a softer colour, such as Mercedes’ green sweater. She’s right on trend for Spring 2013…in 2009. Or 1989.


Rachel tries to press gang each glee club member into posing in the yearbook photo with her. Artie is having none of it, even though I’m sure his ickily trimmed blue sky and clouds sweater vest would look great. Really.


But with her big doe eyes and coat in the exact same shade of candy apple red as his letter jacket, Rachel hooks herself a sucker in the form of Finn Hudson, idiot extraordinaire.


They groove to songs about smiling, which have nothing to do with the episode, and Finn dresses like a farmer in textures of brown, khaki and grey. This is Ohio, not Idaho.

Rachel matches him. With a plaid skirt. Ewww.


But if you publicly associate yourself with the glee club, bad things are going to happen. Football players are going to draw on your face.


And then you’re going to flake on Rachel and go back to wearing your habitual plaid shirt of shame over your white shirt of sorrow, and your recapper (and the audience) will hate you.


This is an episode of highs and lows for Rachel, not only because she gets stood up. I mean, I love her chunky, cranberry-coloured cardigan, but not the elderly thermal vest beneath it.


This is very pretty hair. It’s so volumised, it reminds me of the Little Mermaid. Puff sleeves and pinafores, however, should not be worn by anyone over the age of seven. Take note, wardobe department. Seven, not seventeen.


Seven. This frilly lampshade monstrosity, with tiers in all the wrong places and pearlised buttons, should be worn by a seventy year old.