What Jess Wore

That’s quite the episode title, isn’t it ladies? I know what you’re thinking — “Where can I get some of that?” Don’t even front. Anyway, Jess spent most of this week’s episode trying to get her hands on some; specifically Nick’s. It seems our little Jessy is attracted to success and ambition — weird, huh? So, once Nick starts to show signs of both, she can’t get his power drill out of her mind. In between all this debauchery, Schmidt and Winston took a trip to the aquarium and a leisurely swim in the ocean, where fish-based metaphors get tossed around. Oh and Jess and Nick kissed again — actually, a few times — while Schmidt, Winston, CeeCee and the viewers at home died of shock at the realization that Jess wants Nick.  


Jess rocks a farmgirl chic look for a relaxed afternoon hanging at the bar, bugging their bartender friend while he’s working and bumming free drinks off him. Farm girls do that like every weekend, right? Anyhoo, I am liking her simple but sweet checkered shirt and teased side pony:

And the girl has an umbrella in her drink. That says a lot about a person, wouldn’t you agree?


All of a sudden, Nick starts talking about a new promotion he is starting at work and how he’s billing the roomies and doing other adult, responsible things and Jess practically drools Mai Tai out the corner of her mouth. I mean, this is literally her reaction when he asks her where the iron is:

Yes, readers, she’s so very agog about Nick “looking forward to laundry”. Who looks forward to LAUNDRY?! Seriously, that doesn’t even make sense. 

But how could he not be gaga over her in this moment, too. She freakin’ adorable in a housecoat (Srsly? No one looks cute in a housecoat.) and her geek-chic glasses make her eyes pop…or is that the oxytocin?


Unbenowst to him, Nick uses his newfound irresistable-ness to convince Jess to drive him to the hardward store. She looks as out of place as I usually feel in hardware stores (hand you a Philips head what now?!) but perfectly cute in the world of adorkable television:

You really can’t go wrong with a navy peacoat and bright, pleated dress. Jess continues a bit of the earlier western flair in this cute purse, but adds a touch of nautical with the blue and white.



As the trip continues, she gets into quite the huff, though!

Jess, may I offer some advice? You really shouldn’t go walking briskly around a hardware store with a constipated look on your face – first of all, people are already staring at you in your pink dress and ballet flats and this is not exactly helping you blend.


Secondly, there are like LOTS of sharp and heavy things around that place. Things that could fall on you or….oop, too late:

Great, now your beautiful coat is covered in wood shavings and boot marks and stuff.


The good thing about getting your chin wacked with a two by four is that you get to take happy pills, lay in bed and have people bring you soup. Not in cute pj’s though. The NG wardrobe department has forgotten about those, apparently. These aren’t SO bad I suppose:

Pink and blue stripes get some props but these do not even come close to the polka-dot and dog print confections of Season 1. I think my grandfather had the same pair, actually. 

In her drug-infused haze, Jess confesses to Nick that she wants to have sex with him and he’s all like “wait, was that the drugs talking?” Note to Nick: In my experience, painkillers and alcohol are truth serums. Not that my experience in this area is extensive. Ahem. Besides, it’s been completely obvious for a while now that you both want bang each other — no painkillers needed. 


That night, Jess is back to her old semi-normal self and she visits Nick at the bar in another cute ensemble:

This messy bun makes me want to grow my hair out again. And I love the nonchalant menswearish look of the buttoned up shirt and blazer. Matching your nails to your blouse? Jess, I think we were separated at birth! We seriously need to hang out. 


But you probably don’t have time since you’re so busy sucking face back at the loft:

Damn you guys, get a room. I mean, you both live there, so you have two to choose from. Not difficult.  

Quick hardening caulk, indeed.