Part 2 of 2 – Let’s hear it for the grrrls

Between all the deaths, blackmailing, Initiative spookiness you’ve got to give it up for the ladies of Montauk. They’re not about to let their own imminent doom distract from pulling off look after look, with every detail perfect down to the last flatiron curl.

 

Let’s start off with a bit of an appetizer, shall we? Ashley Davenport is the ultimate amuse bouche in this Barbie dream gown:

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OK, cold hard truth time: Ashley’s got body for days, but this dress is doing her zero favours. It’s also got that kind of unfinished Project Runway “I made this dress in 20 minutes using duct tape” sort of look. Get it together, gurl.

 

Charlotte does her best Blair Waldorf in her school uniform:

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Honestly, this could use a hairband, a loosening of the tie, over-the-knee boots or SOMETHING. What, you mean to tell me she goes to the kind of school where you have to wear your uniform in a UNIFORM manner? What kind of school is that? And is it too late for her to transfer to Constance Billard?

 

But she shows that her DNA includes significant strands of both Queen V and Emily when she pulls out this look for the My Dead Fake Sister Foundation Gala.

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Pay no attention to the odd lemon-filled glass in her hand. Just focus on the gorgeous contrast between the black sheer and the feather-ish pattern. And then some snaps for her Veronica Lake ‘do. Child, you’ve come a long way from your past drug addiction and half-hearted mean girling. *Hugs*

 

Queen V’s first look is hardly notable, apart from the fact that this colour is fab on her. 

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It’s nearly Pantone’s Colour of the Year — Emerald! Those jewel tones look perfect against her alabaster complexion. Queen V, like Joan from Mad Men, needs to live in these colours and throw away every ivory-coloured dress in her wardrobe.

 

See? She’s like a grown-up Snow White in this ruby number. 

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Gorgeous. That neckline is flawless on her, showing off both the girls and that double-strand necklace. 

Here’s the H-to-T, notable mainly for how Victoria’s sharing the screen with that ginormous photo of Fauxmanda (RIP).

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“I love my dead lover’s dead daughter so much! No, really! Also, we take cash and checks! This is entirely not a scam!”

 

So, just like Eli figured out immediately what Emily was up to, Emily took 3 seconds to figure out that the Dead Stripper Fund was a total scam. It’s like the first part of this season was just a warm-up for Emily’s renewed revengenda.

And luckily for us, she brought this renewed energy to her fashionz as well as to her scheming.

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Gurrrrl. This look is IT. It’s ultimate Emily Thorne. She’s got the nautical piping on the curve-hugging blazer, the expensive-as-hell skinnies hugging her every curve, and then the (cropped out but trust me, they’re there) black ass-kicker boots in case she winds up in an unanticipated ninja type situation. LURVE.

 

 

 

 

She brings her usual ladylike glam to the Grayson’s latest gala. Is it a coincidence she and Queen V were dressed so similarly?

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This shade of aubergine is fine on her, but I think I might hand the battle of the long-sleeved body-con dresses to Queen V’s bright red number. Still, Emily wins for the most covetable head of hair. Remember the code — the fuller the waves, the higher the threat level? The gauge of her curling iron portends drama almost as well as Nolan’s collar situation.

 

If I were Eli, I’d be watching my back — though legendary and heretofore unknown hacker THE FALCON might be disrupting everyone’s plans sometime soon. But don’t take my word for it — ask Flashback Nolan:

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