Part 2 of 2 – Revenge(!!!) is the new black

 

It’s a testament to how close Fauxmanda and Emily got to be that Emily’s gone this crazy with revenge(!!!) about the death of her bestie.

Like, who would have guessed that Fauxmanda’s death (which we were all cheering for like, a season ago back when she was allied with Tyler — remember that?) would help refocus Emily’s revengenda? As long as the Graysons keep killing people Emily cares about, this show can go on for years!

 

But we all know our girl. No matter her mental state, Emily’s got a creamy cableknit sweater for every occasion.

 

The best way to pay tribute to Fauxmanda is by just keeping on as her usz, and for Emily, that means retaining her flawless yachting chic. Because what to wear to the morgue where your bestie/life-swap-minion’s body is being held? Peacoat, skinnies, boots, and her trademark flat iron curls.

 

I said in the mini-recap that this episode didn’t have any over-the-shoulder-hugs, but it kinda did. Check it:

Vic and Char are having a sweet mommy/daughter moment, but Emily’s lurking in the background to bring the patented Revenge(!!!) Over-the-Shoulder Side-Eye.

 

Meh, Emily’s too busy revenging for that sort of physical affection anyway. But I like that she and Nolan (RIP the Revenging Roomies!) got to spend a lot of time together this week. Their natural chemistry is never not fun, plus their outfits always coordinate delightfully.

I like Nolan’s casual look here, pink popped collar polo, grunge-inspired plaid button-down and a sport coat. You can tell from the semi-popped collar that we are at a Threat Level 2 — nobody’s going to get shot, but the shizz is getting real.

 

And then Nolan meets up with Padmazzzzz…. sorry. I just can’t even with this storyline anymore. Is there a way we can have Padma blow up too, maybe sending Nolan off on his own Revenge(!!!) plot? Because this blah blah father’s severed finger blah blah is just not working.

Yes, I see what you’re doing here show, with the matching polka-dotted outfits. But you will never make me think these two belong together – no matter how much you try and make them match, subconsciously, in my mind. Nolan’s outfit is pretty boss, though.

 

By Nolan standards, that’s pretty tame. But still a thousand lightyears beyond Padma’s attempt at fabulosity:

I mean, she looks gorgeous, obviously. But where’s the personality? Where’s the interest? Where’s the patterns? Where’s the… anything?

 

Like, Emily, in this black zip-up and blue tee manages to put more ferocity in her zipper than Padma has in every outfit she’s ever worn on this show, all put together.

Seriously, I love the exposed zipper detail here. Also, her hair looks nice like that.

 

Fauxmanda’s funeral was a sombre occasion, which meant that everybody dressed fairly tastefully. Even Nolan.

I’m not sure if this print is leopard, paisley, floral or something in between. But I know that I heartily approve.

 

But the style star of the funeral was Emily’s elegant eulogy ensemble:

I mean, this outfit is gorgeous (and super flattering to the cleave region) while still funeral appropriate. At the same time, she looks totally ready to be whisked off into some sort of glamorous Fred Astaire dance number. In other words, everything I look for in an outfit, ever.

 

 

 

And in HOLY CRAP news, I don’t know where Jack has been hiding this level of amazingness, but I finally get why Emily loves him so much. Seriously, boyfriend was matching her Revenge (!!!) for Revenge (!!!) this week. Like, has he been taking correspondence classes from Takeshi’s Revenge Skool?

 

He even developed an #IWillDestroyYou relationship with Connie that’s like the man version of Emily vs Queen V:

See how he’s smiling, but you know on the inside, he’s picturing how much he wants to throttle Connie until his eyes burst out of his head? And Conrad totally knows that’s what he’s thinking, but they’re in such a cold war that neither of them will ever actually insult the other. Emily : Queen  V :: Jack : Connie.

 

You guys, Jack has never been so interesting as a character. And he didn’t even wear plaid OR a henley OR a button-down shirt this week! 

Having a lethal vendetta looks good on you, bro. Keep it up.