Part 2 of 2 – Batten Down The Hatches, Y’all

 

Before we chat about the fashions, I just want to draw everyone’s attention to this:

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This is the photo that launched Emily and Nolan’s high-speed high-sea chase. This photo, that she only enhanced by making it bigger, meaning that if anyone actually looked at it, they would have noticed a face as well. Just sayin’.

 

Alright, Emily and her Revengers have a little conference call to discuss whatever it is you discuss while plotting revenge(!!!). As I mentioned with Charlotte, Emily’s style is so easy to appreciate because it feels so natural on her. Yeah, it’s just a simple sweater, but I swear everything is perfectly tailored for this woman. I have yet to see something not fit her as though she had a team of seamstresses working around the clock in yet another secret compartment in her house. Even the hunter’s jacket she wears on the boat is beautiful!

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Not to be outdone, Nolan brings a classic east coast look back into our lives with his cable-knit sweater vest and striped shirt ensemble. I’m a little surprised at the lackluster appeal his shirt has this week. If you’re going to wear a sweater vest with pronounced details, step up that shirt game, girl. However, I smirked a boyish smirk when I saw he was wearing two seasickness bands on one wrist. And a lifejacket. So safe and cautious – how could you not love him?

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Meanwhile on the boat, Amanda and Jack’s sexy honeymoon has turned into a sexy hostage situation. That napkin Amanda is passing off as a dress almost made me root for the Ryan Brother. Not that it doesn’t accentuate her chest quite staggeringly, but the Heidi-esque print in such a bland and meaningless colour are such a poor choice for a high-seas honeymoon. Where’s the nautical blues? Where are the stripes? Where are the bloody gold accents!?

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Jack, I harp on you and Amanda because I care. There’s so much potential, and yet y’all keep disappointing me by going to the same look week after week. I BELIEVE IN YOU, DAMMIT.

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OK, Padma is technically on land, but I feel she and Aidan belong in the seafaring category. I also feel this plum colour should be draped on Padma every minute of every day because she looks stunning. It’s so elegant, yet totally fits for day or evening wear. Her adorable necklace is a nice touch for the day wear aspect. I say, richer colours for Padma forever!

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Looking fierce might help soften the blow of finding your kidnapped father’s finger in a box. You never know…

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Later, that same evening…

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That caption works on two levels. And yes, I basically just gave myself a pat on the back for being clever. 

When the title of a Revenge(!!!) episode is called “Sacrifice”, you have a pretty strong feeling that someone is going bite it hard. I honestly didn’t expect Amanda to die. I figured that broad was sticking around to the bitter end since she weaseled her way into Jack’s loving, yet dimwitted, heart. But then, it was as heavily foreshadowed as Sammy the Dog’s death. Now that she’s gone, I think I’ll miss the character. For at least an episode.

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I will say this: the over-the-shoulder hug between Flashback Amanda and Emily was one of the funniest things I have seen on Revenge(!!!). Here’s a down-on-her-luck delinquent thinking she’s found a sister to confide in, and Emily’s all “oh, yeah… totes sisters…” — it was the perfect way to say goodbye.

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Let’s tally the Labor Day weekend track record for The Hamps: Lydia was ejected from society, Emily met Daniel and began to slowly destroy his family, Charlotte was “released” from rehab only to be dragged back kicking and screaming during her mother’s fake memorial, and Connie had Amanda eliminated. Yeah, I never want to be within 100 miles of Grayson Manor on Labor Day weekend.