Twenty Thousand Lies

Emma lets Laurel in on the secret, discovers that Ted is possibly her biological dad and also Derek’s killer, and then sleeps with Thayer… all in one episode. She did have help with figuring out Derek’s killer — Derek’s mom brought in a dug-up bag full of $20,000 in cash, the same amount Kristin finds missing from the accounts. Meanwhile, the great couple swap of 2013 occurs, with Ted and Rebecca sharing a dance and Alec and Kristin sharing more than a bottle of wine. And because things aren’t further complicated, Mads and Ethan share a moment (also over a bottle of wine). And it all happens at a flipside dance (aka Sadie Hawkins), which is pretty much another occassion for the girls to wear fab dresses and for Emma to impersonate Sutton.

 

In place of gratuitous male shirtlessness, we get Ethan bench pressing some weights. #nbd. Also, this is a good way to make sure we’re still paying attention five minutes into the show.

 

And apparently all that working out is doing Ethan some good. He makes this seriously boring blue shirt, well, interesting. As interesting as the fact that Thayer drives a Mini Cooper. Speaking of, Thayer and Emma are back! (They left?)

 

In an attempt to help us tell Sutton and Emma apart, it becomes clear that the hair and wardrobe department on this show really prefer Sutton. Emma gets the flat hair, Sutton the PLL-worthy gorgeousness. Sutton gets the Magical Closet while Emma gets a boring simple colorblocked frock and equally boring jewellery. Sorry Emma.

 

At first glance, this must be Sutton. I mean, she put effort into her hair! Her outfit is cute!

 

But no, it’s Emma! In a fantastic summery floral with a cool silvery knit back. Hands up if you think she borrowed a bump-it from Mads. Seriously, check out the detail on the back of this top: 

 

Our wee little lollipop wore cute outfits but didn’t get much love this episode. First up, purple jeans that make her legs look a million miles long. Or maybe it’s the killer heels. (Sidenote: how awesome are those geometric stairs?!)

 

As much as I love Stylish Mads, I love Wallowing Mads and her adorable patterned henley even more.

Only, the wallowing doesn’t last long. Alec gives his daughter a pep talk and she shows up at the dance dressed to the nines…

 

Laurel’s emerald gown is lovely, and her hair is Emily Thorne fab. But Mads? Poor Mads got stuck with a ruched, patterned watercolor gown with a mullet hem. It looks much, much better sitting by the pool, though (more on that later).

 

Loving, as always, Laurel’s outfits. 

This week it’s this orange dress with white lace overlay and (of course) coordinating purse. Neon is clearly Arroyo’s dress code, and definitely explains Jordan’s yellow pants.

 

YKYLF has a girl-crush on Laurel. It probably has to do with the fact that her accessories are always spot-on. The way to our hearts is proper accessorizing, and this girl knows it.

 

Seriously though, check out the cut-out back on her dress! Gorgeous x 100000. Also her obviously pinterest-worthy hair. Double twisted ponytails? Love.

 

If only she could help her mother. At first you want to congratulate Kristen because she’s wearing a really cute chambray shirtdress that actually defines her waist!!

 

But then you notice that said shirtdress is more like a cross between a shirtdress and a pilgrim skirt and defines more than her waist.

 

And also has a peplum. Yikes.

 

Also yikes — zebra print dresses at the country club. Who wears skintight zebra print in the afternoon?! Let alone at a country club, where your shorts must pass a length test. But those heels? To. Die. For. I’ll take a pair in every color, please and thank you. 

 

Propriety is clearly not Rebecca’s strong suit. Her dress is perfect for a high school dance! If your high school dance was held in a stuffy gym and you were in ninth grade. This is not what you wear to chaperone a high school dance at a country club, unless you want to be mistaken for a high school student. The shiny ruched satin is doing her no favours, but the yellow clutch is a nice pop of color.

 

Let’s play a game of who wore it better…

Sutton?

 

or Emma?

Either way, both girls look gorgeous in the red BCBG gowns, with chunky pearl bracelets and fab updos. I would really like to know how Emma got the deets on Sutton’s entire ensemble. She replicated it to a T. 

 

Speaking of tees…

Dan “I’m getting married in jeans” and Theresa “simple elegant accessories and blouses” could not be farther apart on the sartorial spectrum. But they are a seriously cute couple. 

 

And speaking of cute couples, here’s a list of people who aren’t:  

1) Kristen and Alec. Because really, how did this even happen?!?!

I mean, this was our reaction to Alec and Kristin:

 

2) Rebecca and Ted. And it is obviously not a coincidence that Ted’s tie is blue. While it doesn’t match Rebecca’s shiny blue monstrosity, it’s not supposed to. Because that would be way too obvious on Rebecca’s part. Duh.

 

And one possibly cute couple: 

Mads and Ethan? He “always finds her when she’s hiding”. Only we know they won’t be a couple because there’s no ABC Family-provided hashtag in the upper right corner. #MadsandEthan #Methan #Madsan 

 

And just to tide you over till next week, more gratuitous male shirtlessness!

You’re welcome.