Part 2 of 2: Something Borrowed, Something Blue

 

Like any good bride, Fauxmanda kick starts her marriage to Jack with a little something borrowed and something blue.

Word to the wise Ems, don’t ambush your fake self with childhood memories while at the altar.Good thing Fauxmanda knows how to roll with your secrets and lies like a pro.

 

Also a bonus that Jack remembers this day from when y’all were kids.

Awwww…Li’l Jack and beachily handsome David Clarke with Best Man Sammy the Dog. Adorbs. Jack was already showing signs he couldn’t dress himself, but what are you going to do? He tried.

 

He also, mostly, shaped up for his own nuptuals to the girl of his childhood dreams. 

Remember how I said the Revenge costume department loves it some details? Well take a closer look at the stitching on Jack’s lapel. And now look at the buttons.

I can only assume Nolan helped him pick out that wedding attire. Of course, fancy for Jack is everyday for Nolan. Because y’all are not going to believe what Nolan wore.

 

Brace yourselves for the absolute amazeballs in 3…2…1…

Holy balls! Yes! A round of applause is in order for the silver paisley that only this officiant could pull off. I’ll let you soak it in before we move on to the rest of the wedding party. 

Are we good? Cool. Moving on. 

 

While Jack’s sense of style hasn’t changed much since his early days, much has changed for Emily.

Clearly early Madonna was a style icon for Li’l Amanda back in the day.

 

And present-day? She Pippa Middletons the hell out of this wedding.

 

 

I don’t love the bejewelled belt, but I’m otherwise 100% on board with this maid of honour outfit. The construction of it is fantastic and the neckline is all kinds of soft and lovely.

And it’s almost enough for you to turn your face into it and hide your feelings.

I’m surprised no one was suspicious of you, what with you showing this many feelings at a wedding. You’re usually the robot in the room. (But we get it — emotions make you less Revengey.)

 

Poor Fauxmanda, it’s her big day and we never get a good look at her dress.

Always the bride, never the bridesmaid. 

While we’re denied an h-t of her dress, I do love her seaglass jewelery.

Something about this is the perfect choice for Amanda. Not least of which is that she’s possibly headed for the ocean floor with her namesake boat. 

 

On the groom’s side of this wee wedding, things were a bit hit and miss. For Declan, a total miss with this vest.

What is happening with those zippers? Why do they exist on that poor vest? In his defense, I will say this: at least he didn’t show up in a nehru collar, because I feel like that is the sort of thing Declan Porter would declare as “klassy”.

 

The hit, of course, is Charlotte in that lace. Sadly, she’s either hidden behind Baby Carl…

… or hidden by a camel coloured cashmere hoodie.

Sweetie, don’t hide your light under a bushel. That dress, like so many of your other dresses, is beautiful. Just because you don’t have a decent plotline doesn’t mean you can’t show off how cute your dress is. And 18 is too young to be using a baby as an accessory. You’re too High Society to be pulling a Teen Mom routine. 

 

And brooding up on the cliff like a character from a Brontë novel (or a Harlequin novel, take your pick)? 

Aiden! Rocking the brooding stare and the white linen shirt. Well played, my broody British friend. Not quite on par with Heathcliff, but you’ll do for the Hamptons.

So glad you changed your mind about dumping Emily over your sister’s unmarked grave. Not exactly your classiest move to date.

 

I don’t see a happy future for you two, but make the most of it while you can, because girlfriend is kind of perfect and wears sweaters that dreams are made of.

She can kick your ass, buy you and sell you, hack into any computer system AND still looks like she just stepped out of a J.Crew catalogue. What more can you ask for in a woman?

 

Not invited to the wedding were the Graysons and The Initiative. 

That’s okay, V wasn’t really dressed for the event anyway. She’s settled in at home in some kind of cleave baring, body con dress. You know, like we all do after a hard day at work… unless this visit from Evil Helen wasn’t as much of a surprise as we’re led to believe it was.

 

She seems all sneaky with the scarf and sunglasses at night, but just who’s playing who?

Nice tweed by the way, Hels. Seems a little much for summer, but evenings on the ocean can be chilly. 

Nope. I was wrong about Victoria just chilling out at home for the night. She was totally waiting to kill you, Helen.

That was completely unexpected. I really hope she rallies from the gunshot wound a la Lydia falling on the car, Queen V on the exploding airplane, Fauxmanda falling off the balcony… this show, you guys. I’m sure I missed at least one back-from-the-dead plotline there. 

 

Speaking of father and son Grayson. Poor, sweet Daniel is still shocked when he sees a dead body.

At least he’s pretty. But you’d think he’d be used to all the dead bodies and ruined lives by now, yet it always comes as a surprise.

 

Less so for Connie.

The family that covers up a murder together, stays together. No matter how much they dislike one another. 

 

And while they’re dumping the body, our honeymooners sail off into the sunset dressed like an LL Bean Boyfriend and an Earth Mother. 

 

I’m sure nothing could possibly go wrong on this love boat, right?

Or not.

 

Uh-oh, you guys. This is not the good kind of stowaway. Have we gone from Brontë lovers on the windswept moors to more of a Titanic scenario? Hopefully this Jack finds a piece of driftwood big enough to hold both of them this time around…