Part 3 of 3: My Choral Romance

Artie smoulders this episode, and that’s all he does. What’s your sweater vest made from?

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“Your mom’s chest hair!”

 

After that blinding ensemble, it’s the onto the blinding loveliness of Quinn’s wardrobe. Pale yellow over cerulean blue and lashes to beat the band – ten out of ten, Miss Fabray!

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More cerulean in a hoodie from Puck, who seems unimpressed with ballad partner Mercedes (and who is better at dressing than Finn in every way). Doesn’t his mohawk just pop?

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I’m not sure Tina even knows how to look impressed. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: go all goth or all grunge, and then we’ll talk. Your bi-trendiness irritates me.

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Carrie Bradshaw would be proud of that tie on a young lady, but hers would have sequins.

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Maybe sequins are the next step for Mercedes, a way of segueing from neon into a less bright future? This big bold plaid is actually quite muted for her, and accessory overkill free.

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But that’s still not enough to impress Puck, who is trying to lull me into a false sense of security with his sportswear. I know you’ve got something to show me (not that, dirty-minded readers!)

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Poles away from dirty and as pure as the virgin snow is Quinn, although a) she isn’t a virgin, and b) that dress would look better on a five-year-old. Frilly sleeves are so 1998.

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Quinn always has flawless braids and I need her to do YouTube tutorials. She also has a knack for mixing neutrals and brights and varying sleev length, which is hard to find in Glee.

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And failing braids, she has perfect curls and the pallor of powder blue and soft white to offset her milk-and-honey prettiness.

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This is standard Quinn, though, no surprises in store.

 

Here’s your after-dinner entertainment: Puck. Shirt. Purple.

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See it. Believe it. Lust over his forearms.

 

Mercedes doesn’t care about the forearms of the forefather of Baby Fabray, and advises Puck that leaving Quinn alone is the best thing for her. Why you’d pay attention to someone wearing hot pink peacock print and My Little Pony friendship bracelets, I have no idea.

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Leaving Quinn alone involves a salmon coloured beanie, a Henley, paint splatters and purple and a song, of course. Money and a roof over her head might be a tad more supportive…

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Quinn knows all about matching, in her tiered yellow ruffles and matching headband. Unfortunately, her white cardigans are starting to make her look a little like a baby herself. Being pregnant doesn’t condemn you to pastels, you know.

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Are those jeans?! Wow. What a rarity, a female TV character in functional clothing.

 

This happens, and those are Dianna Agron’s real tears. They didn’t let her watch rehearsal, and this is what happened when Mark Salling sang at her. I SHIP IT.

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So this episode: carmine, carmine and carmine, the chemistry of a car crash between our mismatched lovers and clothing that appears to have survived a car crash.

Lean on me, readers. This too shall pass.