To nude or not to nude?

Vulnerability Metaphors Ahoy! Rachel is given a role in a student film that requires a topless scene. Although it will be Artistic and Very Important to the Plot, she argues with herself (special guest: Past Rachel! Complete with knee socks, straight hair and natural makeup!) about her integrity. Kurt disapproves of the role and calls in the troops: Santana and Quinn, who show up to talk some sense into Current Rachel. Meanwhile, Brittany’s SAT scores are genius level and Sam’s are NOT, so Sam overcompensates by working out like a crazy person. Tina’s bright idea for raising money for Regionals consists of a “Men of McKinley” calendar, which Artie is adamantly against. Finn and Sue butt heads, but Finn outfoxes her, the calendar sells like hotcakes, and Marley and Jake each debate about saying the L word to the other (ZOMG!). Also, spoilers: Santana drops a hint about moving to New York… does this mean our favorite sassy beyotch will return to being a regular on the show!? Gawd I hope so. Love her ferocious riffing and her great wardrobe.

 

Song of the Week:

TIE. Rachel and Rachel singing “Torn.” I got a weakness for 90’s pop, what can I say… 

No, I don’t really miss the knee socks and teeny skirts… but I do miss the fresh-faced look she had way back when. And New Rachel does tend to wear a lot of eyeshadow and relatively unnecessary hooker boots (and A.L.C tops from Barneys. Past Rachel had never even heard of Barneys.) At any rate, one can see the correlation between Skirt Height Then and Skirt Height Now. Rachel has always been in favor of flashing thigh.

 

I also completely loved Rachel, Quinn and Santana reinventing (seriously though) Sara Bareilles’ lady-anthem “Love Song.” Oh BOY, did I sing along with this episode… It was really a pleasant change from hating the song selections.

 

Oh, Q and S… I missed your whimsical a-line and bodycon fashionista dresses, respectively. Not to mention your incredible harmonies!

 

 

Outfit of the Week:

I know there were a lot of ties this week, but we again have a toss-up between the boys’ incredible LACK of clothing (abs alert!) and the Triumphant Return of Fabray and Lopez.

 

 

I mean, yes. Abs. But also, Santana’s moto jacket and hipster scarf! Quinn’s sensible skinny belts and printed silk-blend dresses!

Oh, how I’ve missed you girls.

 

 

Weird Mash-up of the Week:

Ummm “Centerfold” and “Hot in Herre”? I’m…confused. Yeah, they’re topical, but… uh. Hrmm.

I will say this: I enjoy the semi-boyband attire of the fellas. It’s sort of cute in a comical way. And naturally, their “Men of McKinnley” months deserve mention. Well done, boys.

 

 

Laugh Out Loud Moment:

Honestly? The goofy-adorable music video style montage of “This is the New Year” (props to the wardrobe crew for the coordinating but not matchy-matchy outfits) totally made me giggle…

 

…and this shot in particular made me guffaw.

 

Now that I think of it, Joe posing as a bunny was hilariously perfect.

 

 

Warm Fuzzies of the Week:

Freakin’ Jake and Marley. Yeah, I ‘ship it. They are just too dang cute and their musical chemistry is ON. Dueting “A Thousand Years” would have been melodramatic to the nth degree for Finchel back in the day, but for Jarley (Make?) it just works.

 

 

After School Special Moment:

It’s a tie between Finn commending Artie on his integrity about wanting to keep his body private and personal, and Blaine showing Sam a video montage of all of their friends talking about how amazing and what a good person Sam is to make him feel better after his test score bomb.

 

It’s always nice to see Finn out of his hoodies and rugby shirts, even if it means he’s dressed like Young Will Schuster. The colors look nice on him and he doesn’t appear to be wearing a Teacher Costume of any kind. Artie still clings to his cardigans and sweater vests, but I’ll allow this one on account of it being McKinley school colors.

 

Sam is similarly in a rut with so much plaid, but the orange and blue is a nice burst of color in a dreary winter. As for Blaine, he’s  been much more subdued fashion-wise since parting ways with Kurt. I know it’s gray, but this blazer he’s wearing is actually a sweater, which I kind of love! Ah, bromances!

 

 

Yawn of the Week:

Emma Pilsbury. When do we get Will back? When will they get married? And most importantly, WHEN WILL EMMA START SHOPPING AT ANTHRO AND JCREW AGAIN?! This is bo-ring, y’all.