Part 1 of 2: Mostly Menswear

This was one of those episodes that mainly exists to set up stuff that’s going to happen later. It was like checking boxes off on a chart, tidying up plotlines to prep for the second half of this season. Finally FINALLY we learn a bit of what The Initiative is up to (besides skulking around in dark rooms): they want a disaster-causing computer program from NolCorp, as well as control over Nip/Tuck’s disaster relief company. I guess they’re going to cause a disaster… and then fix it? Whatever. That makes 1000% more sense than anything else they’ve ever done. Also: Conrad’s sudden political aspirations coincide with the odious Jack’s Bar plotline and suddenly he’s making a deal with the Bad News Bears. Aiden finds out his sister is maybe dead (and kinda hooked on heroin) and blames Emily for some reason. Victoria offers herself up on a silver platter to Nip/Tuck, but nothing really comes of that (THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID). Also? Nolan gets his heart broken by Suddenly Evil Padma. Oh right, also it was Charlotte’s birthday. Nobody cares.

 

The episode opens with one of Conrad and Victoria’s trademark romantic meals together:

“CAN YOU PASS ME THE CROISSANTS?”

“I CAN’T HEAR YOU YOU’RE TOO FAR AWAY!”

 

For a caszh Grayson Family Breakfast, Victoria pulls out this wrap-neck top:

 

While Connie’s still working his weirdly playful unemployment style:

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times: unemployment agrees with Conrad. If he stays out of work for another week, he may start trying out some freshly-pressed sweats.

 

Their oh-so-romantic meal is interrupted when Connie’s new political aide, former mistress, and Queen V’s former party planner Ashley appears!

Like, is there seriously no job available that doesn’t involve her living in Casa Grayson? She really needs to cut her losses and move on.

 

That being said, Ash is serving up some political aide realness in this emerald green peplum number. Who needs party planning? Now she’s helping Conrad become the Governor or something! Like, I’m sure that it so totally going to work out well for her.

Party planning is a thing of the past! She’s gone from prostitution to party planning to politics in the blink of an eye!

 

Oh, and then the Littlest Grayson shows up all, “Hey! It’s my birthday! Remember me? … no?”

The show even doesn’t care about her. Seriously, that decorated grapefruit is getting a better H-to-T than Char here.

Luckily, we get a better look at her dress when her faux-sister Fauxmanda shows up to actually give her an actual giftie:

The dress is pretty cute, but nothing that exciting. We’ve seen Charlotte sporting cuter dresses. That being said, for someone who’s in the episode for 30 seconds, she managed to make a bit of an impression.

 

… unlike her faux-sister, who’s boring as per usz in this oatmeal-stripey sweater.

Jack is also there, with his usual oddly sculpted hair and a double-breasted button-down. You see how low he’s got that buttoned? Turns out he’s quite the trendsetter, as we go on to see displays of male plumage from nearly every other guy on the show…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The only two dudes who didn’t get in on the unbuttoned man-cleave action were the two you wouldn’t suspect: Aiden and Nolan.

 

Aiden was busy modeling his best 007 formalwear (seriously, dude wore this suit for the entire hour)…

 

…while Nolan Ross displayed his peacock feathers via a number of truly spectacular pocket squares. First, this expertly folded red square to set off his checked shirt and suit:

I luuurveee this suit. The pattern reminds me of the pattern on a Clue board. Also, you can tell from the single collar that he’s at a Threat Level 0. Tragically, this is soon to change.

 

Can we take a moment to talk about Nolan’s shoes? I feel like deck shoes are the new collars for Nolan this season, and these macaron blue ones are maybe my faves so far:

Unlike his usual bare foot/shoe look, he brought some mustard yellow socks to complement his tan blazer very effectively.

And did I mention the blue leopard print pocket square? Because…

BLUE LEOPARD PRINT POCKET SQUARE. Oh, and two collars. That’s how you know he’s got his guard up re: Suddenly Evil Padma. More on this in a bit.

 

For the time being, all you need to know is that this week brought back the return of a very welcome friend.

First the Red Sharpie Of Doom a few weeks ago, and now Shamu?? Next thing you know, Cray Tyler will be showing up and it’ll be a reunion of all the hits from Season One.