Part 3 of 3: the Will Schuester Follies

“YOU SICKEN ME!”

Sue always expresses my feelings on how badly these kids dress so perfectly.

 

But sometimes (a lot of the time) I get annoyed even by what Sue wears. This episode, she’s dressed like a race car driver mated with orange and lime Tic-Tacs.

 

From Tic-Tacs to toothpaste – but I actually like this tracksuit. Of her extensive wardrobe, Sue’s suits in teal are my favourites. They go nicely with her eyes.

 

Every woman should have a red dress. In Sue’s case, it’s a red tracksuit, but no matter – red always adds glamour. I also like the way she seems to have her hair dyed and styled in the past few minutes. A side-sweeping fringe would do her wonders.

 

Sue’s sister with Down’s syndrome is one of many heartstring-twanging themes this episode, but foremost of these is Artie’s inability to use the schoolbus to get to sectionals. I hope his future is more interesting than his plain shirt and slacks.

 

Grandpa’s sweater vest is better than nothing, in a sort of jazzed up argyle that’s almost cool. What are your feelings on short sleeved shirts, YKYLF readers? I can’t stand them except in high summer.

 

The other Glee men think all shirts should be long sleeved all the time, clearly.

Mike and Tina may have exactly the same expression on their faces, but they’re poles apart sartorially speaking. Mike, I’ve said it to Mercedes and I’ll say it to you, this is not the eighties, tone down the neon.

Tina, either embrace your early Avril Lavigne-esque style and tart yourself up a bit, or go fully Victorian. Lace and ribbons would do you so many favours compared to frankly ugly green plaid and random lock paraphernalia as accessories.

 

Green is good for Will, a great change from blue, white and grey. Unfortunately, he blends into the wall so well only his briar patch distinguishes him from the paint. Bad set designer, bad!

 

I see you’re sporting one of TV’s stock endless blue shirts, Will. Rolled up sleeves, popped buttons, sky blue tablecloth print, gormless expression…

 

This textured grey waistcoat is nice, but would be better over something with a bold pattern or at least some pinstripes.

(I wonder if Will ever changes clothes from the waist down).

 

What have we here? A flash of red t-shirt beneath a white shirt with red patterning?! Matching colours?! A MATCHING CUPCAKE?! This is the most exciting thing to happen to the faculty of McKinley ever.

I’m glad to see Will hasn’t forgotten that shirt + jacket = properly dressed.

 

But a jacket doesn’t make up for mistakes like a flat, drab colour on top of another flat, drab colour. You should never wear clothes that match your hair colour either.

Will, you look like a paper bag and I hate you.

 

Next on ‘The Little Show that Couldn’t (Dress its Way Out of a Paper Bag)’, we have Tina, who is doing surprisingly well in various shades of purple. Her heather grey tee and the lilac streaks in her hair don’t quite match her magenta eye shadow, but she tried.

 

When Tina goes full Lolita, she’s adorable. A lace placket and skinny ribbon tie soften her in a way fishnets and chains everywhere can’t. She doesn’t look primed to decapitate anymore.

 

Artie clearly agrees with me, look at that face. Look at that mint green sweater vest, you heart throb. Have you been taking tips from Quinn?

To recap: I love Quinn, and all the rest of you really need to pull your socks up – except Rachel. Stop trying to make knee socks happen. THEY AREN’T GOING TO HAPPEN.