Part 2 of 3: Les Miserables

If your mother ever told you no nice boy likes a bitch, she’d be right. All the hot boys love a bitch, and Queen Q’s got a red hot headband and is all nautical but nice in navy and white.

 

Unfortunately, Quinn is dating Finn, who thinks high fashion is wearing plaid and blue jeans for everything. He’s a twin to True Blood‘s Alice Hervaux, only less mind-blowingly attractive.

 

When you’re dating someone who’s as interesting as watching paint dry, you get into textures. You get into ruching. You get into layering, and wearing shades which suit your skintone and Disney Princess hair.

You also get into Puck.

 

I don’t like black shirts as a rule, but black is very good at showing stains…

 

…which is why it works so wonderfully here. These two are a rom-com waiting to happen, one of the really good ones where Kristen Wiig is involved somehow. Look at them smashing eggs over each other and throwing flour and batter everywhere.

Now get in the shower and get to it.

 

Why so confused, Finn? Since you’re as blank as your checkerboard colour scheme, allow me to explain: you = boring, him = asdfghjkl.

 

Blair Waldorf taught us that if you’re a queen bitch who did the nasty with your dear sweet dumb boyfriend’s best friend, you should dress demurely, as Quinn does in broderie anglaise. The clip in her hair adds just the right touch of brightness.

 

I’m going to go out on a limb and say I prefer Finn in sweaters, because they do something for his broad shoulders shirts don’t – but this blue and black colour scheme keeps popping up this episode, and it’s boring. I’m falling asleep just writing this.

 

Do you see what I mean? Badly fitting shirts make his shoulders look slopey and narrow, and white does not work on someone with such a vivid complexion (read: weathered).

 

White works on Quinn, of course, because she knows to pair it with a bright colour. Her cardigan adds point work detailing on top of the dress’ detailing, and the only thing I object to is that odd green flower. It doesn’t match and a normal button would do fine.

 

Puck wants to support his baby mama/lady love, so he makes pot cakes (like patty cake, but not to be given to children) and suaves on in stripes and logos. Not particularly inspiring, but a good bit of something to distract from a block colour never did anyone any harm.

 

I pretend that piping is mauve, and that Chuck Bass is inside Noah Puckerman somewhere.

Not literally, obviously.

 

So everyone gets high and makes money, and Puck’s all like, ‘you gotta take care of Quinn’, and Finn’s like, ‘but my life is so hard and also Rachel’, and Puck’s like, ‘dude, you’re dressed like a tree, even your pants are green, you are such an unfit teen father’.

 

And Quinnie is such an unfit teen mother. Have you ever seen anyone on 16 and Pregnant look so flawless? Her floral blouse flows, blends cream, green and pink and is complimented perfectly by a mint green sweater, slung casually around her neck.

Are you sure she’s not English?

 

Minus one to Quinn for walking away (well, wheeling away) from this face. Puck is gorgeous and I love him in maroon, even if he does desperately need a new jacket, and that is that.