Part 2 of 2: You’re The Ones We Really Love. Seriously.

Y’all, I think Nolan is letting his guard down. Where is the collar poppage? Where are the pastels? I know it’s autumn there, but come on – that’s never stopped him before. Either way, Nolan consistently remains the most stylish man on the show with his striped shirts and matching pocket squares. And, much like Aaron Samuels from Mean Girls, his hair looks sexy pushed back.

 

Thankfully, Nolan pulled a little of the Ross Flash out for me later in the episode. Sky blue pants and matching boat shoes? Oh yes, ma’am. Plus, there’s some nautical eye candy around the collars. Yes, collars – plural. I knew I could count on you, you swinger you!

 

It’s been said time and again that Emily Thorne is essentially a Grecian goddess. In this wrapped, peplum dress, she is not doing anything to refute these claims. Ivory the house down, gurl! I’m living for the matching clutch and the zebra bracelet that I had to get up close and personal with. She is bougie and she *knows* it.

 

Emily’s ivory stunner is perfect eye-candy for Daniel, who just hands over his most exclusive client list without a question. You know, if you end up unwittingly exploding a dam or something with The Initiative and that shady Stonehaven Enterprises, I’ve no sympathy for you. Also, this is literally the only thing he wears all episode. There may be a tie swap, but that’s hardly a game changer.

 

While Emily and Daniel are chowing and chatting about life and charity, Emily casually mentions Helen Crowley. Since The Initiative is everywhere, she rings the couple to, I dunno, act like a weird ghost or something. Her little boardroom with video screen was all too LOST for me. Could The Initiative be related to the Dharma Initiative from LOST? They were both ABC shows that started off mysterious and slowly descended into batshit crazy territory…

 

Since dumping his connection to The Initiative, retirement has been good to Connie. Check out them guns! Queen Vic’s etched bitchface could care less about her beefy husband because she’s got her sights set on Helen’s involvement with Daniel. Much like we can rely on Nolan, Victoria always brings her a-game when it comes to casual clothes. I’m into the lace cut-out detail, especially as they accentuate her sassy head bob.

 

What do you think the director is trying to say here? I can almost put my finger on it, but the answers feels right and wrong all at once. Any ideas, friends? (Note: this is not my best screencap because it was riddled with title credits, but it’s too hilarious to pass up.)

 

As we deduce the coded message in that last scene, let’s enjoy the ample chi-chis of Queen Victoria as she drapes herself in a luxurious burgundy fabric. Who doesn’t love a good chandelier earring? It’s a perfectly regal look for attending Emily’s wine auction. 

 

Speaking of which…

Aidan and Nolan are immensely cute as a crime fighting team. Aidan wears the hell out of this suit, and proves he could very well step in for Daniel Craig as James Bond (hold your venom if you disagree xo). Nolan keeps it casual and wine bar chic in red and black with what may be his best in-the-moment accessory yet: a grapvine patterned waistcoat. GOLF CLAPS ALL AROUND. The waistcoat is a little difficult to spot throughout the episode, but I think I grabbed a decent shot. Just drift your eyes below his jacket button. 

BROS FOR LIFE.

 

I didn’t think Emily could top her ivory dress, but of course she saved her best for the auction. Feast your eyes on this amahzing emerald column dress, masterfully accessorized with gold drop earrings and Wonder Woman bracelet. To quote my love Blanche Deveraux, “I am stunned. I am simply stunned.”

 

 

 

Not be outdone by our anti-heroine, Helen Crowley crawled out from her panic room and put on quite the power gown of her own. At first, it reminded me of graduation robes. Then of an authority figure from The Hunger Games. Then I gave up with the comparisons and just focused on the bananas leather clasp that’s holding her up. 

What the hell is that? I was into the mustard sash, but that clasp is just so out of place. Get a powerful brooch, honey. At least that would have been a weapon when you get fogged by knockout gas in the Murder Elevator. 

 

Yeah, the Murder Elevator is real. And the only gal I know who is crazy enough to rig up an elevator of knockout gas is Nolan under Emily’s orders. Once those two are out cold, Emily in full ninja gear with voice modulator ties them up in a basement and gets physical. It might be the most elaborate plan to hatch during your high profile wine auction where your presence will be missed, but what the hell, you’re rich and angry. Nolan, Aidan and Emily pull off a convincing botched kidnapping filled with squibs and blanks. Kudos team, you never cease to amaze (and confuse) me.

 

Of course, you would think the dramz would stop with the ninja attack, but there’s one more gem to see. Remember Padma being all apologetic and lovey with Nolan? Girlfriend has a direct line to Helen Crowley. You shady thing.

 

I can only imagine the elaborate and fashionable mind games that are going to played now that Padma is working both sides. Fauxmanda’s dip into the black market should also be interesting, and definitely cause a kerfuffle with Connie’s political plans. Get thee back to The Hamps, y’all – and make the mischief I’ve become accustomed to every Sunday.