Part 2 of 3: Rumour Has It


Where does one purchase a grey shirt, I wonder? And where does one get off on not pairing it with the perfect charcoal and purple tie to please this recapper? Hmmm, Will?


Luckily, Ken’s ever so dapper this episode. The tangerine shade of this polo shirt is to die for.


Emma’s wardrobe is always to die for, as is that cute ‘derp!’ facial expression. Her blouse is white, no frills, no fuss, but her teal cardigan is brought up by a subtly different brooch and exposed stitching around the buttons. I give it a solid B plus.


C minus. F. Ungradeable. Ungradeable, Emma. Are you even still in there, or did that giant marshmallow eat you up?


THIS is more like it. So Audrey Hepburn, demure up front and a party in the back with trailing ribbons and a corsage. The full length opera gloves are a wonderful touch, as is the headband and ‘I do’ updo.

The only problem I have with this gown – I have to call it a gown – is that the empire waist makes Emma look like she might be smuggling a baby under there. Hey, if Quinn can do it.


Then this happens. You could have ‘danced’ all night, could you?


Ken strikes back against the frisson between his fiancee and friend by forcing the football players to choose between the game and glee. Strangely enough, he makes this big tough move while wearing baby blue above and powder blue below. Only a real man could pull this off.

Ken Tanaka is a real man. He knows his colour wheel.


Pale blue and black here, very businesslike. I wouldn’t necessarily match it with maroon shorts, but each football coach to their own.


Oh, Will. Only Ken gets away this shade of blue and even your quaintly patterned tie I’ve definitely seen before can’t absolve you of the sin of being deadly boring.


Grey shirt or no, this outfit brings far more to the table. A taupe waistcoat that could really do with some snazzy buttons or braid, a mulberry coloured tie which could easily be matched with a pocket square…so much wasted potential, William.


Some men know the value of piping and heroic distance gazing, William, remember that.


Emma clearly does, matching her fiance with a lovely aqua cardigan and chunky Wilma Flinstone beads. She doesn’t have the heroic distance gazing down yet, so we’ll settle for bunny in the headlights as Will walks away from her, possibly recalling his wife and/or fake unborn child.


Hi, Sue. Baby blues and baby blue, is it?


I’m very much ready for a new Sue outfit. The towel doesn’t really count as an accessory, meaning this is the exact same tracksuit we’ve seen a dozen times before.


This, however…

A zoot suit with a marvellous scarf print necktie, a fedora with a band that matches the suit, that razor sharp collar – it’s a triumph, Sue Sylvester, a triumph. Please get stood up for swing dancing more often, this ensemble is my favourite thing ever.

Just look at the huge lapels, readers. This is a beautiful thing to behold.


There’s something clerical about this black and white tracksuit and Sue’s bared teeth. I fear the second coming of the Inquisition, with stakes and flames ready for all the glee club members.