I gotta say, I LOVE Glee dream sequences. Last time, Tina hit her head on the fountain at the mall and hallucinated that everyone had switched roles, and now Artie hallucinates “It’s A Wonderful Life” style — with Rory as the guardian angel showing an alternate timeline where Artie’s legs are working and there is no Glee club. Sad! Back in the real world, Burt and Kurt spend some classic Christmas time together in NYC, and Puck and Jake spend a few days in LA before the half-brothers decide to reunite their moms for an awkward family dinner back in Lima. Sam and Brittany are convinced the Mayan Apocalypse is real and decide to GET MARRIED by Coach Bieste (spoiler: it’s a fake ceremony), while Marley and her mom are worrying about paying for Marley’s therapy sessions and making Christmas happen too. Sue overhears it and she and Becky play secret Santa. The episode ends with the Glee club and Marley singing a thank you to Sue. HAPPY HOLIDAYS Y’ALL!

 

The Gasp-Out-Loud-And-Then-Groan-In-Annoyance Moment of the Week:
SPOILERS: Kurt’s dad has prostate cancer. As Kurt says, “But you already had a heart attack!” Seriously though, Burt Hummel is the sweetest dad ever and I hate that the writers won’t leave him alone. This isn’t “Grey’s Anatomy” for crying out loud! But it’s wonderful to see Burt showing Kurt a good time around NYC, and I love the look on Kurt’s face when he realizes his Dad has arrived. Dawww.

I love the pop of copper on Kurt’s collar and hinted at in his tie. Very festive, yet non-traditional.

 

Most Sartorially Altered Observation of the Week:
Rachel Berry, y’all. I know this has been kind of a slow transformation for her (if you doubt me, check out our rerun recaps from Season One and compare her makeup and wardrobe to now) but Rachel is definitely wading into glamazon territory now that she’s a big bad college girl in New York City.

She still loves knee-high socks, but her hemline has risen and she is flashing a great deal more bare thigh than ever before. I’m not really a fan of her sudden glamour… I’ll take the sweet, passionate Ohio Rachel over the empowered, privileged New York Rachel any day. (Side note: I refuse to believe that she and Kurt can afford to heat that loft space enough as to warrant her not wearing tights/pants/layers of any kind with that getup. It’s Christmas in New York and it’s probably real cold. Don’t even play like that.)

 

 

I did love her direct recreation of Mary from “It’s A Wonderful Life” in Artie’s dream sequence, though. Right down to the glasses, the hair, and the scream-into-a-dead-faint when Artie tries to grab her to shake her into remembering his version of events. Love that movie.

 

 

The Best Seasonal Song of the Week:
I was weirdly endeared to Puck and Jake’s duet of a traditional Hanukkah song while joyriding on a golf cart around Paramount studio lots in Hollywood, but then Marley opened her mouth and sang The First Noel… a cappella… to her mother… and I reached for the tissues. It was brief, beautiful, and memorable. Girl got pipes! And it’s nice to not have a huge insane cheesy production number for EVERY song in every episode.

Despite poverty and insecurity about self image, Marley remains cute and slightly eclectic in a fringey scarf which sorta matches her skirt in a 70’s color palette, topped with a slouchy bluish sweater… It doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, but I like it for some reason. Maybe it’s her impeccable chestnut tresses. Maybe it’s Maybelline.

 

For the Christmas miracle, Marley is gifted with this freakin’ adorable Benetton sweater (although this exact sweater doesn’t seem to be available online). At any rate, I love rainbow argyle AND elbow patches.

 

 

Most “Prepared For the Mayan Apocalypse” Moment:
Sam and Brittany are ready-to-roll with the end of the world. And their impromptu “Mayan wedding” — officiated by Coach Bieste — is surprisingly serious, with Sam’s blue tie and clean suit, and Brittany’s sweet white lace and floral garland.

I wonder where this relationship will go, though, now that the Apocalypse didn’t happen and they aren’t actually married. I have a feeling they’re both wondering the same thing… but you have to admit, they’re adorably matchy in their color schemes patterned tops. And Brit’s adorable Lulu hat! They might not be the quickest draws in Glee club, but they’re artists in their own way, n’est-ce pas?

And speaking of “art”…


LEAST Visually Coherent Number of the Week:

“Jingle Bell Rock” from Sam and the Cheerios. Seriously? What what WHAT are you doing. I’m not real fond of this song to begin with, but the rendition is pretty straightforward… except for the inclusion of the Cheerios… dressed as sexy reindeer. The makeup, antlers, furry cuffs and jingle bell sticks are overwhelming… and the choreography is a little bit tasteless. Definitely not the kind of flash mob proposal I’d want, Mayan Apocalypse or no.

 

MOST Visually Coherent Number of the Week:
“Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” sung by the whole gang for Sue Sylvester, who accurately predicts exactly what’s about to happen before she even enters the auditorium, that sly fox.

Yes, it looks like a GAP holiday ad. But it’s clean and pretty and cliché, which is just how a Glee holiday episode should end. Like Tiny Tim says, “God Bless Us, Everyone!”