Part 1 of 2 – Shooting Parties

This week on Revenge(!!!) every plotline got its own TOTAL CLIFFHANGER — yes, even the Jack’s Bar Plotline Of Meh. Basically, Emily’s scheming to help get Daniel to be the new head of Grayson Global. Does this mean vicariously blackmailing her former BFF Ashley, with a sex tape she made with Conrad? Yes, yes it does. But Em’s plans backfire when Queen V uses the sex tape to blackmail her former party planner, Ashley, into prostituting herself to an important investor. After some back-and-forthing and Ashley being between a literal rock and a hard place, Emily gets her way and Daniel usurps Conrad. Also: Daniel totally dumps Ashley, which is understandable. Also? Grayson Global, now in the very handsome hands of Daniel, takes over NolCorp. AND THEN? Nolan’s former piece/CFO Marco blows back into town which means MORE BLACKMAIL and also BISEXUAL LOVE TRIANGLE! Also: Baby Carl got christened, some dude confessed to killing some other dude and then got shot, and it all has something to do with Jack’s Bar. I said stuff happened, I didn’t say that I understood it all.

 

Remember when we thought it was hilarious that Conrad would give Victoria a gun as a wedding present? Well, that pearl handled sucker doesn’t hold a candle to the rifle she already owns. Not so hilarious now! 

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There are a few things I don’t understand about this shooting party. The first is how they managed to get the Most Interesting Man in the World to hang out with them in the Hamps.

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Doesn’t he have a lion to wrestle? He may not revenge a lot, but when he does, it’s in the Hamptons. 

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The second is why Victoria chose to dress like a pirate. 

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It’s so frou-frou and off-brand. From bandage dresses to Captain Hook’s castaways? 

 

Her shooting companions went for less frilly attire. Probably because they didn’t want a lace cuff to get caught in the trigger or something gun-like and mechanical. 

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Conrad’s quilted shooting vest and white shirt seem perfect for the occasion.

 

And while his son also dressed appropriately (and in a lot of white) (I guess he has someone to clean his gun.) (I assume guns need cleaning), Daniel’s girlfriend/Connie’s former fling did not.

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This is even more baffling than dressing like a pirate to shoot with the Most Interesting Man in the World. The dress in all its chiffony glory is downright lovely, but it seems very out of place for an afternoon of fancy skeet shooting. I thought Ashley was a party planner extrodinnaire? She’s usually dressed to perfectly match any occasion. But this?

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No matter how much I love the detail, her dress choice makes her seem like she just fell off the Shady Eastern European run prostitute ring turnip truck and into high society. 

 

Also dressed slightly off the mark is Nolan, but at least he still looks like he’s just drinking on a summer afternoon – as opposed to cocktail party ready.

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Do you see that? That pop and a half in the collar? Amazeballs. I believe he accessorized with a walking stick that I was unable to capture for you, so we’ll just have to focus on the jacket. Love it. 

 

Dressed like matching safari attendees are Ems and Aiden.

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Check out that ascot action on Aiden. He looks like he’s ready to colonize a small African nation. Only mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun – and try to revenge(!!!) on the levels of Emily Thorne.

I’m now taking guesses on how long until one of these two double crossese the other. Until we know who’s going to stab who in the back, it’s sexy times as shooting parties turn to scandal.

 

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I’m going on the record that matching outfits twice in one episode is worrisome. Even if she’s just borrowing his shirt to make herself look even sexier. I think what he’ll find even sexier is Emily’s talent for blackmail and underhanded deeds. 

 

Remember when we thought Ashley was Emily’s bestie? Yeah. I bet she wishes she were now. 

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Poor Ash. It’s not because Ems hates you, it’s because you’re just an insignificant pawn in a much bigger game. One you don’t even know you’re playing (give Jack and Declan a call. They don’t know they’re playing either.)

 

The best part of that video is the chain of reaction it caused. Like this one.

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And this one.

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Classic. 

 

Both were dressed fantasticly for receiving a sex tape by phone. Victoria ditched the ruffled lace for a fab, structured red sheath.

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The best part of that dress really is the details. 

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Now that’s how you do lace and maintain your evil status without looking like a Disney reject. 

 

Ashley on the other hand is killing it on the casual front. 

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Absolutely love it, especially as it’s paired with some skinnies. 

 

Daniel was serving up some Wronged Man realness:

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“Freeze! I’ve got a Blackberry and I think I might know how to make the camera work! Can you hang on a minute, I have to take this call.”

 

Who cares what he’s wearing right now? Moral indignation is the new black.

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Can’t say I blame him. I’d probably be all judgey and angry if I walked in on my girlfriend with the Most Interesting Man in the World.