Part 2 of 2: Boardrooms and Baptism Parties

The scandal headed into the city this week as everyone wanted a piece of Grayson Global. 

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Mad props to Ashley for that number. Everything about it is straight up amazing. The colour, the cut, the gold bangle. And most importantly, the pockets. 

 

Padma needs to take a lesson from that playbook. 

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She’s downright boring. And the ruffle I spy makes her look like she’s wearing one of Charlotte’s dresses, only in greyscale. Actually, other than Ashley, the Greyson Global boardroom seems immune to colour. Both Daniel and Nolan are 50 shades of business grey (and oh god. I just thought of something. They’re probably the subject of slash fiction, aren’t they?).

Padma keeps on that theme for the signing over of NolCorp (which is totally her fault).

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The only colour being brought in is Daniel’s oxblood power tie with the seriously fitted vest (can he even breathe in his business wear?). 

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Because otherwise, there’s a lot of serious business black happening.

 

Victoria, still reeling from her earlier ruffles, goes for a black sheath as she tries to save her son from the Initiative.

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Maybe Daniel would have believed she was serious about protecting him if she wore colour. Or maybe not. 

 

Emily’s black number is accessorized with a cream belt and what is quite possibly the best cream envelope clutch evah.

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It’s a bit on the business cocktails side of things, but I can deal as I’m pretty sure these two have apres-coup cocktails in mind.

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Nolan’s former CFO and lovah on the other hand? 100% schlub.

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Dude wouldn’t know what to do with colour if you gave him a spreadsheet explaining how. 

 

The baptism party for the hilariously named Baby Carl was a bit of a mixed bag. Emily killed it in white lace.

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My only complaint? I have no idea what shoes she wore! Badly done, costume department. Badly done. 

 

To make up for it, they give me some serious shoe porn with Ashley’s shoes.

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I’ll give you a moment to soak those in. Amazing right?

Those shoes also make up for all the episodes where they hid her light under a bushel and her amazing outfits behind the houseplants.

 

I also loved her hooker with a heart of gold-plating outfit.

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If you’re going to go all indecent proposal to save your relationship, you may as well look effing amazing doing it. And she does look that and then some. 

 

Speaking of amazing, Charlotte is a teen dream this week as she regales the baptism bar with stories of how awful her parents are.

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Kitten just needs a cocktail and a piano bar to complete the picture. 

 

Motherhood is working wonders for Fauxmanda. She still talks like she’s got a mouthful of marbles, but look how respectable she looks!

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Nothing too flashy in this blue wrap, but then again, flashy really isn’t called for at a church ceremony. 

 

Then again, neither is scrappy chest hair, but that didn’t stop Declan. 

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Why so much chest hair in a church? Why?

 

Why not just wear the hoodie to church while you’re at it? 

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Is it just me or is his hair getting bigger?

 

And just how many grey hoodies do those brothers own? 

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Maybe they just share one. The bar isn’t doing all that well.

 

Otherwise they wouldn’t have gone into business with these guys.

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I’d say you’d think they’d know better, but we’re talking Jack and Declan, so clearly they don’t. “Sure shifty guys! Imma leave this address book out in the open. And take your super random suggestion to call all my dad’s old pals who haven’t been around since 2006.”

The waffled henley really should be what tips you off to this being a shifty deal.

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No man who comes from old money dresses like Jack and hangs out in Jack’s bar. Jack knows enough fancy folks by now to know how they dress.

 

I’m not saying they should dress like this:

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Which is all the amazing with that piping on the jacket and the colour.

 

But maybe a little more along the lines of this?

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You definitely shouldn’t be dressed like this…

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…or this…

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…on the day of a baptism. The snaps and the epaulets on the nylon jacket give him away as the low-life thug he really is. 

 

It was a busy week in the Hamps. We’re going to have to keep notes handy to remind us of what went down when we get back from the break. And send some of those notes to Daniel. 

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He may have maneuvered himself into CEO, but he did have a little help. If he spends this much time looking confused at a clock, well, maybe the Initiative should come up with Plan B for world annihilation, or whatever they’re up to.