Part 3 of 3: The Guilty Ones

No Emma this week, so allow me to present Kendra, Terri’s only slightly less sane sister. She goes for big earrings and hollering, plus underwear disguised as clothes. See the tights as pants?


See the cami as a top? Great accessorising with the flower brooch, though.


If only Terri accessorised. This rose splattered top is cute, but nothing special.


And this salmon scalloped shirt doesn’t really clang my gong either. I can’t understand white trousers on anyone, to be honest. Aren’t you terrified of sitting down and staining them?


What a hideous shade of fuchsia, and what a hideous lie that belly bump cushion represents.


If salmon and fuchsia had a baby, it would be this blouse, and it would still be boring.


Speaking of boring, the sheer monotony of Will’s shirt/tie/occasional cardigan combos has prompted me to create another new segment: What Will Will’s Clothes Say About Will? ‘I’m striped,’ says this outfit quietly. ‘I’m repressed, and in need of more colour.’


‘I so want to be creative, but there’s only so much I can do with pinstripes. Please spice me up with a brighter tie, Will, I beg of you.’


‘I’m blue, dah-bah-dee-dah-bah-die.’


‘I warm Will’s heart, even though I’m blue, because at least I’m not a pastel shade.’


‘I’M STRIPED YEEEAAAH. BRIGHT ORANGE YEEEAAAH. COME ON, FEEL THE NOISE. YEEEAAAH. Shame about the plain white shirt, we could’ve done so much better.’


‘I’m trying so hard not to throttle him for pairing me with grey. Who even owns a grey shirt? Did he borrow this from Kurt?’


‘Hey, chicas. I’m smooth. I’m charcoal. I’m…a suit. Why can’t Will wear more of me, you ask? He can’t handle my suave charms. He’s a briar patch. I’m a creme brulee.’


‘I miss Emma.’


‘I miss Emma too.’