Contrary to Staff Writer Ritchie, I *love* Grease. It was one of the first musicals I ever experienced and it still has a soft spot in my heart. The same heart that was slightly trampled after seeing the McKinley High version, but in the spirit of Grease, I’m going to let it slide and just enjoy the camp! Even if Ryder and Sam wouldn’t know how to play a convincing greaser if they were adopted by a gang for a year. There wasn’t much by way of fashunz this week, but there was plenty of drama. Shout out to Unique whose fierceness is being compromised. Ryan Murphy, you had best sort that business out soon.

 

Totally Cutes Patoots Moment Of The Week:

Anyone else love the almost shot-for-shot recreation of the “Look At Me, I’m Sandra Dee” scene in Kitty’s bedroom? It was awesome to see it decorated much like Frenchy’s room in the film, but this soldier of Christ would never have her bedroom tarted up like that. Let’s hear it for Sugar’s super cute, Lisa Frank inspired PJ set, and Tina’s quirky old get up. They really tried to emulate their ‘Grease’ characters in their fashunz, although Marley’s pattern free-for-all was a little hard to digest.

 

The Scene That Made Me LOL For Real Of The Week:

OK, to be real, the “Greased Lightening” scene is hard to pull off unless you’re using the stage version which is (admittedly) too risqué for family television. However, I almost fell off my sofa when I saw Ryder try to pull of John Travolta’s choreography from the film. I mean, John Travolta isn’t exactly a beacon of machismo, but seeing this fella bounce and bop to the beats was just too damn precious. As far as Sam’s Kenickie goes… well, I don’t think he’ll be snagging any Emmys. At least the costuming was pretty tight. The pyramid studs on Ryder’s t-shirt may have been a little over the top, which says a lot when it’s a Glee episode dedicated to ‘Grease’. I won’t fault them for Joe’s dreads thought because, honestly, what can you even do with all that?

 

Best Teen Angel Of The Week:

It was no surprise Blaine would be the teen angel. However, I was surprised to see him tone down the hamminess during the song. Snaps for you gurl! Less is more and all that jazz. While there’s not much to say about his all white ensemble, I will acknowledge that it fit him spectacularly. Sugar’s pink Frenchy wig was pretty delightful, as well. Now that Blaine is all Mr. Sad Pants after his break-up, I’m waiting for the inevitable wardrobe/attitude change. Unless that emotional train-wreck storyline was worn out by Quinn.

 

Most Welcome Alumni Of The Week:

Yeah, there’s two divas back in town for “Grease”! I love Santana’s personal style. It’s like a clash between 80s power woman and late-90s alternachick, and she was FIERCE in that blue houndstooth dress. However, the real (guest) star of the week was Miss Mercedes Jones! She was working some serious Executive Realness this week, which I guess comes from balancing classes at UCLA and record back-up vocals. She can’t walk back into Ohio looking like she ain’t got hers out in California. I’m a huge fan of Mercedes’ skirt this week because it is celebrating those curves.

 

See, Rachel and Kurt share my sentiment. Sidebar: kind of living for that clutch Rachel’s holding.

 

Totes Soapy Moments Of The Week:

Big surprise: going back to see your exes perform/direct your old high school’s musical is going to be laden with melodrama. At least Kurt and Rachel looked fantastic. So NYC chic in their all black looks. While Rachel and Finn seem to have finally put their romance to bed, Kurt and Blaine still have some unfinished issues. If Kurt ever meets the guy Blaine hooked up with, I’m praying to Jesus there is a fountain nearby for a Dynasty-level cat fight. Finn’s breakdown of Rachel’s crying methods was kind of hilarious (and a little bitchy) for its melodramaticness, but the real juicy line came from Rachel as she storms off saying,

Rachel: “I just want to go home.”
Kurt: “I thought this was home?”
Rachel: “It doesn’t feel like it anymore.”

GROWING UP IS HARD, Y’ALL.

 

Total Bitch Move Of The Week:

Rachel was just chilling on Cloud Nine with Brody by her side and an Off-Broadway audition before her, when Cassandra put on her bitch pants to take the young star down a notch. After manipulating Rachel and Kurt into using her Jet Blue points (championship product placement), Cassandra lures Brody into one steamy ass dance rehearsal, only to end up in bed with the young fella. After Rachel’s weird hallucination during “You’re The One That I Want”, she calls Brody and who answers but Cassandra, who does not spare any details about what went down. First, I don’t blame her for getting all bajiggity over Brody because that body is outrageous. But I also don’t blame Brody for hooking up with her because LOOK AT THOSE PINS. Kate Hudson has enough leg to cover Ohio. But seriously, if she did that to me, I would gank her weave so hard.

 

Closest We Came To An After School Special Moment:

I thought we were going to get into some heavy eating disorder chats once we see Marley trying to do the deed. And I immediately thought, “Don’t you dare try to lecture me while you’re dressed as a cheap Danny Zuko”. But then Ryder ends his little speech with some toilet humour and the crisis was averted. Here’s hoping Marley puts Kitty in her place soon.

 

Most Hilarious Glory Days Moment:

Hey, McKinley Alumni, you can’t just keep waltzing back into town like war heroes and expect to just walk into musical roles. Finn “Nepotism” Hudson totally shanked Tina when it came to replacing Rizzo, and then Rachel completely substitutes the cast of new kids with the Golden Oldies for the final number. Yeah, the new kids have enough screen time (I suppose), but let them at least work the boards for the finale.

These kids didn’t stand a chance…

 

Meanwhile in Theatrical Delusions 105…

 

Only a few fashion moments were outstanding this week. That’s the danger of a costume heavy episode. Hopefully there’ll be more dramz and more threads next week. I assume there will be since Rachel and Kurt are headed back to NYC. But for now, let’s take a moment to remember the old Kurt: